Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone had a good holiday. I had a pretty good one myself, with a fairly cold Christmas here in Houston. And now I leave you with this:

Feliz navidad
Feliz navidad
Feliz navidad, prospero año y felicidad

I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heeeeart!

Inspiring words.

P.S. - Someone buy me that Santa.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Maybe I should read the news more

While browsing on CNN, I came across this story. Turns out my criminal procedure final used this exact same story, right down to everyone's names, in our final. If only I read the news, I might have been more prepared. Either way, I think I made a fairly convincing argument that we need to go in and take the bullet from that mofo's head. I never stopped using mofo.

Happy Festivus

Today is officially Festivus, and I would like to wish you all a Happy Festivus. May the aluminum pole gleam down on you as you perform your Feats of Strength and provide some support during the Airing of Grievances.

Remember, today is a Festivus for the rest of us!

EDIT: Elizabeth is right in saying that the date is flexible, so I will keep the comments open to airing grievances.

Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!
Cosmo Kramer: That must've been some kind of doll.
Frank Costanza: She was.

Friday, December 22, 2006


Yes, this is a post about MySpace. Why don't I just get it over with and blog about the new stalker Facebook, Ugg boots, and crotch flashing while I'm at it? Well, I've decided I'm going to be sort of semi-diligent in posting over Christmas (except for that week that I'm at Mal/Stephen's house, where I will undoubtedly be eating lots of cookies and fawning over babies).

The point of this post is not to talk about MySpace. Personally, I'm not a huge fan of it (I kind of like facebook better -- ah, dammit, I'm doing it! Okay fine. Facebook is creepy, Ugg boots make baby Jesus cry, and Britney Spears just killed her comeback. There, I got it out of my system.), and most of my "friends" on there, I haven't spoken to in years. Except I do get Laurie updates from Korea via MySpace, so I guess that's a plus. And, I sort of have a new obsession.

I was reading Dwight's blog on the NBC website a while ago, and I found a link to his myspace page. Which has been shut down, but then from there, I found that he had a whole bunch of people from the cast of The Office on his top friends. So, I now have friended Jenna Fischer (Pam), BJ Novak (Ryan), Angela, Creed, Kevin, Roy, Bob Vance, and Meredith. And I've gotta admit, some of their blogs are really freaking hilarious. Kevin has got to be the most underused resource on the show. And Pam/Jenna has some good holiday gift ideas on her blog. She actually updates while behind her desk on the show. So now, I am stalking half the cast of The Office. I even made extra room on my top friends so I could include them. Yes, my life is pathetic. I'm telling you, finals procrastination does this to you! And I've still got three more rounds of finals to go (plus that one big test you have to pass to be a lawyer... yeah, the bar). Even though finals time has passed and most of you are at home eating cookies and such, if you're ever bored, check out some of The Office of myspace. I won't tell.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I've got some time on my hands

This is great. I've done literally nothing all day. I am always a big fan of Chuck Norris/Bill Brasky humor, and here is my latest acquisition.

Jeff Kent is a hero, a king among men. Each and every morning, after he's done chopping down mighty oak trees, he devours a breakfast of pizza, buffalo wings, smores, and a single banana. Jeff Kent negotiates world peace between games of doubleheaders. He has the moustache of a Greek god. Derek Lowe is Jeff Kent's son.

Sweet, sweet relief

Yesterday was my last final. Hooray! To celebrate, some of the old 4D crew went to Trudy's, where we met up with Vivek, the traitor. I call him that because he transferred to Stanford. Seriously, Stanford? He did say our Halloween party is way better than theirs, so I take that as proof that Texas is a superior law school. I also continued celebrating today by sleeping until noon. Delicious, uninterrupted sleep. Since you haven't heard of any vicious murders in the news, it's safe to say that my neighbors have behaved since Saturday. I think they may be gone.

I am officially half way done with law school! The hardest part is over... or so I hear. So now, I have practically a month until I have to think at all again. If anyone has movies or book recommendations, I'm going to have a lot of free time on my hands.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Happy holidays

Stumped about what to get me for Christmas? Well, here is one thing I don't want. I haven't really watched SNL in a long time, but I'm beginning to think I should. Proof that Andy Samberg is carrying the show... along with JT.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Is Wayne Brady gonna hafta choke a bitch?

I consider myself a pretty good neighbor. I don't leave trash outside my door (unlike some people in my apartment complex), don't make noise, yadda yadda yadda. And I can pretty much deal with other people that do. Last year I had a neighbor who cooked curry almost every night, and the smell seeped its way into my apartment nearly every night. There was nothing I could do about it. The curry smell was too powerful for my meager "Oust" sprays and Yankee candles. But, I didn't complain, because I'm not big into confrontation, and I pretty much don't care.

But lately, things are starting to push me over the edge.

Not the people in my complex - my complex is fine, even though the walls/ceilings are so thin, when the person who lives above me gets up to pee in the middle of the night, it sounds like he's peeing into the bowl directly above my head. No, the problem I am having is with the people who live in this pseudo house-apartment right next door to me. They've had a couple of parties during the semester - fine, whatever, we live near a college campus, so that's expected. But don't start to mess with my sleep during finals. Monday night they had a gathering. Thursday night they had some sort of party/singalong on their porch (which is directly across from my door), and I didn't complain even though I had an 8:30 final the next day. But last night - last night, they had an all-out fiesta with music and loud debauchery until 4am. 4AM. I don't get angry about many things, but if you mess with my sleep, especially during finals, you will feel the consequences. And now, as I'm trying to study the Model Rules of Professional Responsibility, they're having another hippie-campfire singalong. Sure, maybe the undergrads are done with finals, but this is law school. I hate you, and if you have another party, I will call the cops on you. Yes, I realize this makes me officially old. Grab me a can of Ensure, I need my sleep.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Looking toward the future

One down...

So, I had my first final yesterday. It was a little more time-pressured than I expected, but I think I did okay. I aim for the middle of the curve, so I think I'll fit in quite nicely there with how I did. Of course, as we all know, grades are pretty much completely random and arbitrary, so I guess it'll just be a mystery until February or so. Overall, I really liked Dix's class. He doesn't call on anyone, which seems like a good thing, but then it just turns into Dix having a conversation with himself. It can be fairly entertaining though, when he peppers his conversation with the phrases "chicken shit" and "dumbass".

So, how did I prepare for this final? By having my boyfriend come into town, of course. I actually did get a little studying done while we enjoyed season 3 of Arrested Development. I'm a multi-tasker. We also made a trip to the Home Depot, which is just as exciting as it sounds (very). There we found a new smoke alarm for my apartment, as I have been living without one for the past four months. I live in a great place, right? That's got to be an argument for warrant of habitability. Anyway, we also got cables to hook up my DVD player to my brand new HDTV. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I am slowly but surely moving into the 21st century. I love my new TV, mainly because it's big and shiny, but I will probably love it more once I get an HD antenna, after which all non-HDTV will be ruined forever. My old TV is now sitting in the corner of my room, along with my original Nintendo, as there is no room for it with my new TV. Out with the old, and in with the new.

Also, I apologize for the crappiness of the pictures. My camera is old and eats batteries like a leech, and I was too lazy to put in new ones so the flash would work. Deal with it.

Thursday, December 07, 2006


As a method of procrastination, I have for you: pictures of my... second cousin? My cousin's baby. Sophia. Unfortunately, there's only a few, but any more might make your head explode.

I think I was about to fall asleep, so I tried to look awake as possible. If you notice, she is wearing baby Uggs.

She was more awake than me.

And finally, dressed up for the wedding. Cuteness.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

I think I can see the light

Today was my last day of professional responsibility. I love DZ. Even though he rambles and is kind of all over the place in his lectures, he's a really nice guy and does try to explain things as clearly as possible. Plus, he sponsored our National Intramural Co-Ed Law School Softball Champions of the World team. I felt okay giving him the obligatory round of applause at the end of class today. He's earned it.

I'm currently in my 3-hour class. Through a fortuitous planning by the University, we're having Monday classes twice this week. Which means double 3-hour class this week. I don't know if you've noticed, but I sort of despise this class. I've made a vow never to sign up for any class, no matter how great it souds if it is 3 hours long. I was really looking forward to this beforehand, what a letdown. All I know is that I really don't want to clap at the end of today. But, I probably will, just like that guy who doesn't really want to get up during a standing ovation. Part of the ritual, I suppose.

In a move that is either genius or complete and total insanity, Mal is coming this weekend. On the plus side, I can get in my cramming this week and just relax before finals. On the bad side... I won't be getting a whole ton of studying done this weekend. I was thinking about it, and this semester is in sharp contrast to last year, first semester. Last year I had a study group that met once a week all year, and stepped it up to 3-4 times a week in the last month of class. We started doing practice exams a month before, shared answers, reserved rooms in the library, looked up different study aids and outlines. Now, I can't really be bothered. Study groups don't really exist second year. I've gotten some outlines, so I guess that's a step up. I didn't do much of any of that stuff last semeter, and my grades pretty much came out the same. Which proves the widely held theory that grades are basically arbitrary, and nothing you do will really make a huge difference. First year, they scare you to death, second year they work you to death... Let's try and avoid that. Strive for mediocrity! Only two more weeks to go!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Back In Action

I didn't get any sleep this weekend. The wedding was good, and the reception went to 3:30 in the morning. I'm still tired. Pictures to come soon, but I am actually in class right now (amazing, I know, my first actual illicit in-class post. I feel dirty).

A few things of note:
- Mal's brother Eric just had a new baby boy and he's really freaking adorable.
- I managed to catch most of the USC - UCLA game this weekend. Tee hee hee. It makes my giblets tingle to think of USC losing.
- Is anyone going to the Sugar Bowl? It would be a stretch, but it would be possible for me to drive to New Orleans just in time.
- Please, Lord, make the bad man stop. International Commercial Arbitration turned out to be not the most scintillating thing ever. Who would've thought?

Friday, December 01, 2006

La peor idea en mi vida

This is my farewell post. Farewell for the weekend, that is. I know what you're thinking. "Lizett, you've gone weeks on end without posting, why are you announcing that you're going to be gone for three days?" Shut up, that's why.

My cousin Mario is getting married to his fiance, Mayra, this weekend.

Here they are at my other cousin's wedding in March. My family looks gooood!

Anyway that means I'll be off in Mexico-land this weekend, and NOT here studying for my exams coming up in 12 DAYS. Why couldn't they make their schedule a little more convenient for me?

I will update with photos of the nuptials when I come back, because if there is one thing I need to do after not studying all weekend, that is procrastinate by updating my blog.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Am I blatantly stealing this, with only slight modifications? ...Yes.

Dear Readers,

I have an important announcement to make: I'm changing my name to Swarley. I chose this legendary name because it's awe--wait for it--some.

S is for suits. Suit up!
W is for What Would Swarley Do?
A is for "Awesome," which is what my best friends Swarley 4WD and Swarley the future dog are.
R is what a pirate says. Happy, everybody in the world?
L is for "L Swarley," my Mexican counterpart. (I know I'm Mexican, but just go with it.)
E is for "Everybody call me Swarley from now on because that is my name."
Y is for "Y not check out SWARLEY.COM"

Swarley out!

Get ready

I just realized that despite my sidebar, I never actually post in class. Usually it's because it's extremely difficult to come up with anything remotely interesting or creative in class. Not that a lack of a creative idea has ever stopped me from actually posting, but class is usually taken up by IMing and pretending to listen and/or take notes. Some of my colleagues can actually do it, and I applaud them. Meanwhile, I'm sticking to blogging as a method of procrastination when I should be studying.

Tonight, we had a reading of the Assault and Flattery show for this year. I just have to tell everyone that it's going to be pee-your-pants funny. I'll be stage managing, so you don't get to see me humiliate myself. I know, it's a shame, but you should go see the show anyway.

Monday, November 27, 2006


I just got my ticket application to the possible bowl games today. I doubt I'll be going, seeing as I have plans to be in Columbus until the 1st, but if you want me to put my application in for you, holla at ya girl.

Finally updating -- OR -- I'm sorry I judged you, Daniel Craig

Hi! It's been a while, hasn't it? Yeah, I know. Things have been pretty crazy around here lately. Well, by crazy, I mean, there's been a lot of TV to watch.

So what's been happening?

First, I went to South Bend two weeks ago on a whim. It was a lovely weekend, including a visit from Mal's brother Dan. We went to the last tailgate of the year, I accidentally fell asleep for about two hours in the middle of the Ohio State - Michigan game, and we went to go see the new James Bond movie. Which was fantabulous. I'm sorry I judged you, Daniel Craig. You are clearly the sweetest Bond ever. I look forward to many more installments of your badassery.

So, after that, it was about a half week of realizing that I actually need to sstart studying for finals, so there was some of that. I drove back to Houston on Wednesday, did a low-key Thanksgiving with the fam on Thursday. Friday I actually braved the mobs and went to the mall with my mom, AND I managed not to get shot! And then... well, you all know what happened on Saturday. If I hear another commentator say "John David Booty", I'll strangle them. Why does everyone use his middle name? No one else uses their middle name, why are you so special?

Say hello to Mal's new wheels, Swarley. I am a huge fan of the car, but I think I like the name even more. I'll get to meet her after Christmas, as I'll be spending New Year's in Columbus. Should be crazy times with two babies, one of them brand new.

Things are gearing up, finals-wise. Most other schools start about a week earlier than UT, so Philip is starting to go through the crazy 1L freak-out phase. You know things are going bad when I got the following IM conversation:


To be honest, I'd been studying a bit that night, and even I found it funny.

Finally, this weekend is my cousin's wedding in Monterrey. So, that will be one more unproductive weekend. Looks like I'll actually have to start studying after class.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

In keeping with all things wacky

I actually didn't watch a single episode of Dancing With The Stars this year, despite the fact that both Joey Lawrence and A.C. Slater were on the show. I watched the last two seasons, but for some reason, I just wasn't drawn in this year. Anyway, because I recently read somewhere that a blog without pictures is not any fun, I decided to present to you last night's loser of DWTS, with a little PITNB twist. If you know what I'm talking about, I applaud you.

Things of note

I've been hearing more complaining, or "bitching" about me updating my blog. Calling me a slacker isn't going to help - I know I'm a slacker.

Today, there were 30 mph winds gusting through Austin. I actually almost fell over on the way to class.

My bathroom was out of order for about a period of 18 hours. Thankfully, I literally live right across the street from the law school and maaaaybe went there to use the bathroom. Like a hobo.

In a crazy frenzy of wacky spontaneity, I am going to South Bend this weekend. Holy crap.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Knifewrench: For kids

I told myself this weekend that I would sit down and be a Good Law Student this week. So far, the plan has failed miserably, even though Kat explicitly invited me to the library to study. I decided to go see The Prestige instead. I figured if I didn't see it this week, I would never see it. It was suspensful and satisfying. There's a lot of movies coming out soon I would like to see, but I think I'm going to have to wait until the holiday season for a movie-going extravaganza.

And while typing the tag to this post, I realized this is the first post with the tag "school". Oh my.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Updates on demand

Some people have been complaining/bitching about me not updating. All I'm saying is if you don't comment, you can't complain. I run on affection.

Just a few things to update, most of which aren't relevant to me. This weekend I went to Notre Dame for my last home game visit of the year. I flew into Chicago, and Mal came all the way to O'Hare to pick me up. Awwwww. I wish I had some exciting, wacky stories from the weekend, but it was a lot of lounging and some unpleasant weather during the game. A victory is another victory. A lot of people were in town, but alas, my path did not cross with a lot of them. Some things to come out of this weekend: A delicious meal at Parisi's thanks to Andy's family, and a whole new Mothball catchphrase of "Ahh! My knees!" Yeah, I don't know where that came from either.

Back in Austin, today is election day. I voted a couple of weeks ago, so hopefully that will make a bit of a difference in today's outcomes. I'm going to be that annoying person and urge all of you to vote vote vote! I'm even wearing my Uncle Sam t-shirt today.

I am fairly convinced that Borat is already on that road to over-use. Prime example: Two attorneys substitute-taught my international commercial arbitration class. In eeeeevery single example of a bilateral investment treaty between two countries, one of the lawyers used Kazahkstan and the US. And so it begins.

And finally, in a glorious moment of live television, I present to you the Country Music Awards. Now, I am not a country music fan, but you must trust me, for I speak-a Spanish... this is a classic clip. Look at Faith Hill's reaction to Carrie Underwood winning... whatever that category was. Priceless!

Monday, October 30, 2006


I've been watching a lot of Lost lately. One of the many lovely things I received for my birthday from Mal was Season 2. I just saw season 1 right before school started, and then I started watching season 3 when it started, so I'm a little all over the place. Anyway, multiple episodes of Lost, along with my love of Grey's Anatomy, has made me realize - both hotties on each show are called Dr. Shepherd. And they're both surgeons - Derek is a brain surgeon and Jack is a spinal surgeon. I don't think this a coincidence. Derek = McDreamy. So what should Jack be? Mc...Rugged? Although we all know the real rugged man-beast on Lost is Sawyer. Plus, the nicknames usually end with a Y. So who is your pick? Dr. McDreamy? Or Dr. Jack Shepherd?

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Blatantly stolen

I'm not much of a 24 fan, but it works just as well if you exchange "Chuck Norris" for "Jack Bauer". And yes, Chuck Norris jokes are still funny.

It is impossible to sue Jack Bauer for battery because whatever force he uses is always reasonable. Jack Bauer can recite ERISA from memory, word for word, but he never does it because ERISA is so boring. Congress once considered amending the Federal Rules of Evidence to make anything offered by Jack Bauer automatically admissible. Jack Bauer invented the common law. Jack Bauer does not need consideration to enforce his contracts. When the law of negligence first developed, liability turned on what Jack Bauer would do. The standard for conduct was later lowered to the “ordinary and reasonably prudent man.” Jack Bauer used to own Blackacre, but burnt it down for the insurance. Originally, the idea of separation of powers was a reference to the fact that Jack Bauer has two different fists. Jack Bauer has unlimited peremptory strikes, which he exercises by melting prospective jurors with his mind. Justice is blind because Jack Bauer roundhouse-kicked her in the face.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Better than a hard kick in the face

I forgot about some important things in my last post. First and foremost, the crazy cracked-out guy at the bar we went to Saturday night. We ended up going to this place called Bronx Bar, which was a bar, but I think it was trying to be a club. It was a pretty small bar, everyone was just standing around, trying to talk, but there was a DJ in the corner and he kept playing club mixes of the pop-iest songs around (SexyBack, London Bridge, etc.). So we get there, get our drinks, suddenly my brother tells me to watch my back. This big guy with his shirt open was break dancing on the floor and apparently I was almost stepping on his head. Then he got up and grabbed this blonde girl behind him, picked her up, and started swinging her around and around. She nearly clocked some guy in the head. I'm pretty sure he was on some sort of ecstacy/heroin high.

Also, I'm currently in a blog feud with Mothball. You'll never win!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Yes, I'm awesome

If you'll go over to Mal's website, you will see that my icon in the comments section is now Ollie the weatherman. I think that pretty much sums up my personality, right?

So, yesterday was my birthday. Thanks to all of you who left me a message on Facebook - maybe someday I'll get around to writing on your wall. Who am I kidding, I've got nothing better to do, I'll probably do it within a few days. But then again, I am lazy.

So, this weekend was pretty good. Mal came in on Friday night, and we went through the ghetto part of Austin to get to my apartment. He said, "What crazy route are you taking me? ... oh yeah, you moved." Genius.

Saturday we drove to Houston, Mal had his first taste of Whataburger, which was very well received, and we got into Houston right when the Irish were kicking off. The game was... oh my God. We nearly lost. Weeeeeep. I mean, thank God we won.

My dad grilled fajitas and then Mal, Jaime and Ana and I all went out to the Rice Village. Despite living in Houston all my life, I'd never been out to the Rice Village. It was a nice little collection of bars, but it didn't really compare to 6th Street. What does, really, other than Mardi Gras?

Sunday, we drove back to Austin. I won some tickets to a Lone Star Riverboat cruise at the TLF auction, so I decided to go ahead and go to a night bat watch. I know Mal has gone on and on about the bats, but you must trust me, for I speak-a Spanish: the bats coming out of the bridge. Was. AWESOME. You haven't truly lived until you've seen a colony of about 1.5 million bats drop from a bridge and fly off like a cloud of smoke. I really should actually explore the city more. And bring a camera. To top off the day before my birthday, we went to dinner at Hooters - I think buffalo anything is quickly becoming my favorite meal. Mal and I then bought a sampling of tasty beers from around the world and enjoyed them with cookies delivered to my door. BONG.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Your wake-up call

Now that I live alone, I'm a little more paranoid about my safety. Not like the presence of another girl under 5'2" is going to help if someone actually tried to break in, but it's always a little more comforting when there's someone else in the apartment. So you can imagine my surprise when I heard some loud knocking at my door at 8:30 this morning. I checked the peephole, and it looked like a FedEx guy. I opened the door, and he asked me to sign his little computer, and handed over a package. From NBC Universal? Innnnteresting. I opened it up, only to find that it was from my good friend, Anglee, and contained the following:

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

It's finally here

Tonight, my friends, is the Project Runway season finale! It's been an exciting season, and let me tell you, I think Tim Gunn is probably the greatest part of it now. Pretty much every time he saw one of Kayne's designs, he yelled out "Oh, Jesus!" Ahh, classic Tim.

I finally got my car windshield repaired today. The Phantom has taken some beatings lately. First, it got rear-ended coming out of a Target, then it had a few dents on the doors from idiots who park too close. Who wouldn't want to be close to true beauty, I know, but they could at least watch how they open the doors to their POS's. Finally, on my last trip to Houston, I got a rock right to driver's side of the windshield. So now my car is totally officially tainted. Oh well, it was good while it lasted.

Last Thursday, I went to the TLF auction, and actually ended up winning some stuff in the silent auction, including: An autographed copy of the book "The Warren Court" (yes, I'm a huge nerd), two tickets to a riverboat tour on Town Lake, and 8 yoga classes. I didn't really think I was going to win anything, but I guess there weren't that many people there this year. If anything, the yoga should be a way to finally get me to get off my ass and do something other than bowing in front of my DVR all afternoon.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

I'm finally caught up with the rest of the country

Last night I decided to go see Talladega Nights at the last minute. There were about ten people in the theater, which was about 7 more than I expected. I liked it and laughed significantly, but I don't know if it will survive multiple viewings like Anchorman. And here it is, post #2 of the week. Maybe one of these days I'll talk about law school again.

Monday, October 16, 2006

My week, aka, I'm sorry I'm not posting more

I really have no excuse for not posting. It was a fairly interesting week. I'll try to keep up more often, mostly out of guilt from getting frustrated that other people's blogs aren't updated more. I guess I can't complain if I don't update my own, so I'm trying to do more about that.

The beginning of the week was fairly uneventful. Highlights of the end/weekend include:

- A Michael Jackson singalong at The Alamo Draft House. It was insane. There were at least three people dressed in various stages of MJ - one "Smooth Criminal" MJ, one "Billie Jean" MJ, and one psycho red drum major, one gloved MJ. They showed the full versions of all the great MJ videos, including the controversial Black Or White video (which has plenty of gratuitous slow-motion crotch grabs). It was a fun time, but I don't know if I'll be back to one of those anytime soon. Although, I hear they're doing something with Saved By the Bell in November, so I will probably have to check that one out.

- Saturday, Texas v. Baylor. There was no ND game this weekend, unfortunatley, but I made it to the game this weekend at UT. It was a pretty exciting first half, Baylor put up a good fight.

- Pretty much everyone else has commented on the ghetto party, so I won't. Especially since there may be some incriminating photos of me in undergrad floating around. I'm taking the CHLSA stance and keeping my mouth shut.

- I think I've realized the source of my lack of blogging. This year I decided to upgrade my cable to get a DVR, and brother, it has changed my life. I think my relationship with my TV may be bordering on unhealthy.

- Does anybody know where/when Ex Parte is going to be? Just curious.

- Friday, Mal comes into town and we're heading to Houston for my version of Meet the Parents. I guess it would be Meet the Fockers, which wasn't nearly as good as the original. That's probably how this one is going to turn out too, if only because it's only an overnight stay and instead of going to a beach house, we're going to my parent's house. At any rate, it should be a good weekend.

Yeah, so those last few aren't highlights at all. I resolve to post at least twice more before Friday. You can hold me to that one.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Weekend Wrapup: Alumni Band Reunion Edition

'Twas a wonderful weekend for sure. Thursday included two delayed flights to South Bend, getting me in around 9:30 pm. Seeing as I hadn't eaten since noon central time, we tried to go to BK near Corby's only to see that... the restaurant area was open, but the cashiers were closed. I'm sorry, you can't get food unless you go through the drive-though. What? So instead we went to Pizza Bell and got a personal pizza. I was really hungry, but Mal ate the entire thing. So I had to go to Corby's on an empty stomach. I think it was his plan to get me drunk that night.

We did indeed hit up Corby's for the second time in one night (for him). Jism and LB were there, along with Rocky, Ball, and Jan's friend MaryCille. We made it home sometime... somehow. All I know is we slept until 1, which was way ahead of our 4pm prediction. We hit up some Chili's, some Legends action to meet everyone in the world, followed by practice and dinner... somewhere. Then back to Corby's! As you can see, the details of this weekend are crystal clear.

We planned on getting up early for tailgating, but somehow slept until later than usual. The tailgate was rather excellent, with pretty much everyone ever in attendance. Vnak showed off his new bling (but no babies). The game was smack-downtastic. I have a terrible face sunburn/tan that redefines raccoon eyes. Damon's is tasty. I'm bored with myself already. Sorry, people.

My TV's sound is fuzzy. I'm worried it may be on the way out.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

It is time

Well, my friends, tomorrow I depart to The Bend to see Stephen! I mean, Mal. Or something. Oh, and there's also some sort of band reunion going on. Not only will pretty much everyone I know be in attendance, it will also be a time to see extremely old men attempt to march and not give a damn what the new version of the fight song is, he's playing his version!

You crazy kids and your K-Dub version!

So, it should be an exciting weekend filled with fashion, fun, and frivolity. Elizabeth and I will discuss khaki on khaki and when that is appropriate, along with appropriate interview-wear. Nips will surely have some drunken tomfoolery of the likes we never saw in undergrad. Other shiznittery will occur. CJ's will be consumed. But most importantly, I'm going to spend some time with my boyfriend and go see another solid football game. That's right Austin people: I do in fact hate you.

Sunday, October 01, 2006


I waited a full week to see if anyone had anything to say on the subject of zombies. I guess they don't.

My brother sent me this awesome meltdown by an MSU radio announcer. So what if I'm a week late.

I went to Wal-Mart today, which reminded me how much I hate people.

I guess there isn't much more to say except, I'll see all of you in the Bend this weekend.

Sometimes I forget I'm supposed to be talking about law school. So I'll try and give you a bit of an update of what's been going on. OCI is finally over, and I'm still waiting on the vast majority of places to hear if I get a callback or an outright rejection. I have my first callback interview tomorrow in San Antonio, and really, I don't know what to expect. I have nothing to tell these people that they don't know from my resume or my first interview. And I'm supposed to talk to various people for two hours? What am I going to be doing? At the very least, they're taking me to lunch afterward, which should be nice, but not nearly as awesome as attempting to drive back to get to class on time. It's going to be time to see what The Phantom can do on the open road!

Monday, September 25, 2006

I'm confused

I can't tell if John Mayer is some sort of comedic genius. Before, I was just slightly annoyed by him. But after reading the following blog entry, I may have gotten him all wrong. He does have some good stuff to say about zombies.


Are you frightened and exhilarated by the thought of the living dead, but you just don't know where to get your fix?

You should look into zombies. They're former human beings whom, at one point, walked the earth wearing flannel shirts and jeans, but as zombies they eat people's brains and love the mall. I hear they run slow, so unless your legs are pinned under a chandelier or you're just in shock, you should be able to get away okay without too much trouble. One time, they were conducting experiments on chimpanzees and the chimpanzees were infected with some crazy virus and then the chimpanzees got out and started biting people. This started the zombies. This was only in one movie, so I can't say it's all the time. What does seem to be all the time is that zombies love to eat people's flesh. You see, they're deteriorating, so they need all the fresh flesh they can get.

Here's what they do: they don't really rest or anything. All they do is wander around with their arms out and they walk all slow, and they seem to be completely unfazed by even the most jarring incidents, but once they see humans, man, lookout. They get real determined. Because, like I said before, they love flesh.

The thing too is, you can sometimes trick zombies into thinking that you're one of them. If you walk through a whole pack of zombies, and you're all like "bbbuuuurrrrgggghhhhh", like they are, there's a chance they won't notice you're even there. But as soon as you start talking, or showing basic cognitive reason, zombies are all over you.

I guess what I'm saying, is, zombies are dead and they don't have long before they deteriorate, so unless there's a whole lot of them, if you're being pursued by only a couple of zombies, you should be okay. I would say you should hide out somewhere a zombie can't get to, and, at the rate of mixing myths, you might want to cover your entire body in a thick layer of river mud like that time in Predator. It couldn't hurt. You should just wait it all out until the zombies deteriorate and can no longer move. The difficult thing is, zombies don't all become zombies at the same time, so maybe you should just pack a zombie emergency kit for your home and office.


Sunday, September 24, 2006


So, I am incredibly tired and should be going to bed right now, but I figured I should write this down before the motivation escapes me.

I don't know if any of you know this, but my mother is a bit of a prankster. Sure, if you know her, you probably know her as that nice lady that looks just like Lizett and shoves delicious Mexican food down your throat until you explode. But there is a much more sinister side to her. Now that we have an unlimited phone plan to Mexico, she frequently prank calls my grandmother, pretending to be all sorts of various characters (someone from the bank, a Japanese client of my cousin's, etc.).

So, I came home to Houston today to see the fam as I haven't visited them since law school started. Everything's cool, I have lunch, yadda yadda yadda. So after we eat, I pick up my backpack and go upstairs to drop my stuff off in my bedroom. The door to my bedroom is open, and just inside, I see a large cockroach by my desk. I immediately freeze and call to my brother downstairs "uhhh, there's a roach in my bedroom." He asks, "Is it moving?"

As it turns out, my mother had the genius idea of purchasing (yes, spending actual, real money!) plastic cockroaches and had strategically placed them in my room for maximum freak-outage. She was kind of dissapointed in my brother for tipping me off, but I am eternally grateful. Besides the one by my desk, there was another right next to my bed. So I pick up the plastic cockroaches, put them on my desk and forget about them. Until about five minutes ago, when I pulled back my bedspread and nearly yelled out loud because, you guessed it, there were two cockroaches strategically placed underneath.

Current location of roaches: one outside their bedroom door, one on the kitchen counter. They wake up before me, so I'm hoping for some element of surprise.

Friday, September 22, 2006


That's in honor of Rosh Hashana. I don't get any days off, but hey, we got Contracts off last year.

So, to kick off an exciting Friday, I spent four hours in the Texas Review of Entertainment and Sports Law office this afternoon. Let me tell you, I was getting pretty pissed at whoever the hell wrote this article I had to cite check. Do you know English? Ever heard of the Blue Book? Yikes. Anyway... all part of the fun and games of second year. I can at least be thankful TRESL doesn't have any writing requirements, but cite checking for four hours can really numb your mind.

So what did I do afterwards? You guessed it: pancakes.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I may be getting a little ahead of myself

I had an interview today with the Travis County Attorney's Office. It actually went really well and it seems like it would be interesting work. The guy practically offered me the job on the spot. The only problem? It's part-time work starting... oh, about now-ish. It seems like a pretty sweet deal - vacation and sick days, health care (yes, even for part-time), plus getting paid on a regular basis. I just don't think I could handle it all. He said they usually ask for 20 hours a week (or as close as possible - this is a government job and I know what they're about). That would mean working Mondays before class, and Tuesday-Friday after class. And then coming home and studying. While it all seems like a pretty sweet deal, I rather enjoy being a student and finishing my day at 1:30, even if it does mean I'm studying later that evening until the wee hours of the morning. At least then I get a choice of when to do my work, and I can watch Dr. Phil if I damn well please (that is, I will be able to as soon as the cable guy gets here... if that ever happens). I think all in all, I'll have to say no to what would otherwise be a great job opportunity.

In other news... you can totally spot who the 1Ls are. They travel in packs. And they still have that glint in their eyes... what is that, hope? Optimism? I never thought I'd say this, but to be a 1L again...

Monday, September 18, 2006

I may have to start following Mal's food lead

Apparently, spinach has been spreading e.coli around the country. And here I just bought a bag of 50/50 Romaine and Spinach mix! That's it, nothing but meat and fried foods for me from now on. Because eating green can kill you.

Friday, September 15, 2006

New things are afoot

Well, my friends, it's official. I thought I could hide under the radar from the UT blawggers, but now I'm linked at Hawk McGee, Ex.Coll.Blog, and Amicus Curiae, which is arguably the #1 UT Blawg now that Wings&Vodka is off the air. Weep. I cry just a little at the thought that there is no more W&V wit out there.

Last night, I had two receptions to go to. The first was for a certain BigLaw national firm at the very posh Shoreline Bar & Grill. The people were nice, but God, for such a nice restaurant, could they please turn on the a/c? Thankssss.

The second was for a San Antonio law firm at Stubb's Barbecue. That was pretty chill and fun, and it was pretty crowded outside because Thievery Corporation was playing later that night. Too bad I didn't stick around, because GyllenStrong was there for the show! I loves me some Jake Gyllenhal. I guess it's best that I sold my ACL tickets though, because as much as I'd like to think that I would run into Jake and Lance at ACL, I doubt that would actually happen. And now I get my money back and finally actually unpacked my apartment. I live here now, I'm not just moving in!

To do tomorrow: Go to the Austin Alumni Club game watch and see ND poop on Michigan, or catch up on Federal Income Tax?

I think we all know the answer to that.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Fun with Pills

So my Houston doctor won't refill my allergy prescription, so I guess that means I need to find a new doctor. And I get to deal with my allergies with medicine that they should really sell on the black market since it appears to have no positive medicinal effects whatsoever and merely fucks. you. up.

So I guess after my hiatus from law school, I can honestly say I don't think I missed much. It's the beginning of the semester, so the profs are all taking it slow. I think the only class I'm really hurting in is tax, but only because I realized after you learn your whole new fun law school vocabulary, you also get to learn a fun new tax vocabulary. Yay!

As many of you can tell by seeing your suited classmates in the hallways, it's interview season at UT. I have had one so far, and I guess it went okay. The guy was an OSU fan, so he didn't really appreciate the fact that I went to Notre Dame (although the fact that I went to UT Law didn't bother him that much considering this Saturday's game). Not only do I hate having to prepare for interviews while also preparing for class (and sometimes missing class for said interviews), I really really hate wearing a suit to class. I feel like such a tool. And really that's only going to happen a couple of times, so the other days when I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt and everyone else around me is wearing suits, I die a little inside. But only a little. I'm not supposed to let on that I'm actually "competitive" or "care".

Texas: Take a hint from Stanford. Give us vacation during interviews! Trust me, you'll be happy you did.

Finally, since I don't have any pictures from this actual vacation I took, and I've been in a picture-posting mood, here is a pic from this summer of me and Mal at some really crappy Mexican place in San Antonio (I know, you thought they didn't exist!)

Let me assure you, do not eat at Canyon Cafe or whatever the hell it's called in the Quarry. Their tortilla chips are barbecue-flavored. I guess the entree was okay, but with terrible chips and salsa, why bother?

Monday, September 11, 2006


That is the sound of Charlie Weis eating a submarine sandwich laced with heart medicine in one bite. You see, I have a theory that Charlie Weis, like the rest of the Notre Dame fans out there, gets extremely enraged when Notre Dame is doing poorly. So enraged that he requires his heart medication. Charlie Weis, however, also requires submarine sandwiches. Submarine sandwiches that must be eaten in one bite. Solution? Combine the two. During the Georgia Tech game, I am certain Charlie Weis had a heart-medicine-laced submarine sandwich during half time gave the team a good talking-to in the locker room with salami and lett-oose flying everywhere.

So, Mal has not sent me the few North Carolina pictures taken of baby nieces and no PSU game pictures either. This vacation was super sweet and fun and made me really really hate coming back to school. Mal's family was really nice. It was very odd at first, because around our friends, he's the one making fun of everyone, but at home - BAM - total opposite! You see, as the youngest, Mal is the brunt of his whole family's jokes and ridicule. I, by association, got a bit of it, but I took it as a good sign that they have no problems mocking me. Right ...?

So then after some super sweet driving across the country, we made it to Columbus for a brief, yet delicious stay. We hit up the Quaker Steak n' Lube, famous for wings (which were, in fact delicious) and Donato's for some tasty pizza, and both nearly died in an unfortunate bathtub incident.

After escaping near death, we actually made it to the Bend for some super sweet tailgating/seeing alums/football action. We definitely needed the blowout after the heart-laced sub sandwich inducing fear of the Georgia Tech game. See the rest of you suckers at Stanford!

Friday, September 01, 2006

So long, suckers

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?

Go Irish, Beat Yellow Jackets!

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Caged Wisdom

So my Federal Income Tax professor banned laptops in class. BANNED. I can't tell you the freak-out that occurred in that classroom. There was wailing and gnashing of teeth. People got kicked in the face. Someone may have lost a few limbs. After the initial shock, I tried to actually take notes by hand for the first time in a year. It was a little weird. I hope my note taking doesn't suffer, but I can imagine that my IM conversations will be replaced by little stick figures in the margins.

Tomorrow I leave right after class for North Carolina! I'm pretty pumped. I'm going to Meet The Family. I'm actually not really nervous... yet. No, I've been assured by Mal that as long as I call him Stephen in front of his family and keep wrecking him as usual, I'll be in. Plus, I'm bringing them chocolate. They HAVE to love me. says it's supposed to be raining all week, but hopefully it will be nice for a few days or so. After all, I'm skipping a full week of school, it'd better be worth my while!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Everybody Wong Sun Tonight!

Today marked my first day as a second year law student. It was a pretty full day, and I immediately noticed a difference between last year and this year. Mostly in that this year, I don't really care. Well, I still care about doing well and learning, and all that crap -- I just don't care about all the stuff that comes with first year of law school. I don't care about being awkwardly polite with people I won't speak to within a month. I don't care whether the professor likes me or not, or whether he thinks I'm paying attention in class. I don't even care if I own the casebook to all my classes (which I don't, and I won't get PR because I hear that is The Thing To Do). I do still care about finding me some free food around the law school.

All in all, it turned out to be a pretty packed day. First up was Introduction to Intellectual Property, which I think will be useful but really dry. Second was my Constitutional Law of the European Union class, which I subsequently dropped while I was in my third class, Federal Income Tax. Eight people in one class? No room for slacking there. I picked up Criminal Procedure instead, so at least I get to hear Professor Dix say "chicken shit" about fifty times per day. Going back, FIT actually seems like it might be... not terrible. Okay, so I did the reading (I know, too much work for my 2L slacker ass) and the reading was pretty bad, but the professor seems to recognize that we hate numbers as much as he does and looks like he'll make the class tolerable. Finally, I had Professional Responsibility with The Big Dz, which is about as close to a blow-off class as you get in law school. Somehow I got myself BACK in a schedule that goes all day with no lunch breaks! WTF? I clearly hate myself.

I guess I shouldn't complain too much. Friday I leave for North Carolina to spend a good chunk of time with Mal and his family at a beach house they're renting in Wilmington. From there it's on to the Bender for the home opener against Penn State. Greatest week of my life? Quite possibly. The week after being the worst (in that I have interviews and have to catch up on missing a week of class)? Definitely.

Did anyone else watch Project Runway tonight? Who would've thought after that big blowup between Jeffrey and Angela that Jeffrey would win and Angela get booted off. I kind of feel bad for her because Jeffrey was such a jerk to her mom. Then again, Angela is crazy and Jeffrey did look like a rock star.

Okay, so this my return to the blogging world, now that I have something to procrastinate for. Anyone else going to PSU?

Friday, August 18, 2006

We've got SNAKES

Yes, my friends, what you see is true. I have just returned from a viewing of the highly anticipated Snakes on a Plane. We got to the movie theater a half hour before show time, thinking it would be packed... alas, the only people in line to buy tickets was a family of four, and when we got inside, we saw no line to enter the theater. A pretty decent sized crowd ended up coming, but I would characterize them as the entire senior class of Westlake High. Westlake High football rules!

As for the movie itself, it is much as you would expect from a movie titled Snakes on a Plane. As promised, there was a little added sexuality and a lot of added violence. Lots of snakes biting lots of people in lots of very unfortunate places. Would I see it again? I don't know... although, that may be more due to my inherent fear of snakes and my lack of desire to see them all over again. So, maybe I told Mal that I'd go see it with him... whoops! I guess Beerfest will have to do, along with a home viewing of Spymate, the chimpanzee that works for the FBI.

I'm nearly moved into the new place. Living by campus has turned out to be extremely convenient already. Today I took a little jaunt to the Co-op in the 102-degree weather. Good lord, it was sweaty. I had to take a shower in the middle of the afternoon, I felt so disgusting. Also, I have a few friends living in the same complex or nearby so I get my privacy when needed, but I also can bug people for company whenever I wish.

For now, I'm using the UT internet which is fairly reliable. I can't seem to get a hold of Time Warner, those bastards have put me on hold three times, and I can never get through until I just give up, throw my phone against the wall and pull out a sizeable chunk of my hair. So it may be a while until I get cable TV and internet going. For now, I am heading back to Houston tomorrow to accompany Philip on some family poker night, get my semi-annual dentist visit on, and bring back all my clothes that didn't fit in my car the first time around.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I promise to post something real soon

Not "something... real soon" but "something real... soon." I am heading to Austin tomorrow to move my stuff into the new place. Century Club, here I come! Due to unforeseen circumstances, my brother is not coming with me, so I'll try and trick one of my Austin friends to help me move stuff. While I don't have any recent stories to have the show down with Goat as promised, I will soon. For now, please enjoy this thoroughly hilarious scene from Extras.

Ricky Gervais--Extras

Sunday, August 13, 2006


Behold, beauty in its truest form.

Temporarily in H-town

Thursday was my last day at the immigration court. It was a pleasant last day. I had a snooze button snafu on my cell phone and ended up coming in a half hour late. I doubt anyone noticed. I spent the part of my morning that was productive writing the testimony facts of an asylum case, then spent the rest of the morning on Slate or the People magazine website. Then it was a tasty lunch at Acenar, my favorite restaurant in San Antonio, and then we went on a field trip to St. Mary's law library to attempt to find a document I am pretty sure doesn't exist anywhere anymore. Since there was nothing left to do, I said my awkward goodbyes after that and rolled out around 3:30.

I am back in Houston, for now. On the agenda is a trip to the optometrist and getting my car serviced before I head to Austin on Wednesday to move into my new apartment. It should be lovely and sweaty, as it is Austin in August.

Now that I have a stable internet connection, I should post more frequently... should. And they will hopefully be more entertaining than this completely factual piece of shite.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Sad news

I think very, very few, if any people from Cy-Falls read this, but in case any do, you probably heard that Isaiah Ray passed away on Sunday in a car accident on the way to Austin. Feel free to leave a message on the guest book at the Chronicle's website.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Some quick updates

1) My boss is out of the office while his kids are sick. So far, I've finished a memo on temporary protected status. So I guess you could say I've been doing a TPS report. OH!

2) One of hte Immigration Judges just got back from like a month of vacation. His first case involves a guy who got caught being in the country illegally because he was caught molesting a goat.

3) Apparently some bankruptcy judge put the entire Billy Madison "...and my God have mercy on your soul." speech in a footnote of his decision because the lawyer's brief was so bad.

4) Who's crazier now -- Mel Gibson or Tom Cruise?

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Things I have caught myself saying, which made me realize just how old I am

"You know, I really want to start investing."

Friday, July 28, 2006

The Phantom Menace

office space

ummmm...yea...have you been in any wet t-shirt contests lately?

I think my boss is trying to live vicariously through me. Every morning, I come in and I usually go to his office (I get in about an hour after he does like every good government employee), and he asks me, “So, what’d you do last night?" It's as he's if expecting to hear some crazy story that ends with me getting a tattoo in Tijuana.

I guess I don’t blame him. He’s 30 years old and just had his third(?!) kid a little more than a month ago. I’m sure he misses the days of going out and getting crazy… if he ever had them. I hate to disappoint, but unfortunately, for the most part, the stories mainly include me watching a DVD (since the TV is all biffed up [that’s right, I’m using biffed up – thanks Katie!]).* Laurie told me to stay away from him, he’s extremely fertile. It’s best not to get too close.

One of the best parts of my day, though, is right around 4:00 every day, when a guy comes around with a GhostBusters-like vacuum and goes around making a vain attempt to vac up paper clips and post-its. One of these days I’m going to yell, “Who you gonna call??”


To live in a cave-man like state (circa 1975) in which television requires rabbit ears, internet requires theft, and the shower head resembles a seinfeld episode (apparently). and why are you still at work at 4? seriously.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I'm trying

Well, the internet gods seem to be pretty angry at me. I've attempted to update twice, and each time my less than stellar connection cut me off. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! My neighbors seem to be catching on to my illicit internet use, and are cutting me off periodically. Fantastic.

Things have been going pretty well here in San Antonio. My weekends have been pretty packed. Mal came up last weekend, which was awesome as always. We went to Sea World on Saturday, which was good overall. I believe it was another one of those 100+ degree days. We got there around noon, and proceeded to wait in lines for at least a half hour just to get tickets. I have never seen so many Mexicans in one place, not even at my cousin's wedding. Every thing has a line. Eve. Ry. Thing. I think we figured out what the problem was. While waiting in line to pay for food, the cashier stood there, change in hand, while she talked to another employee for a good two minutes. WHAT IS HAPPENING? You work at a theme park. Good God, it's so hot, just give me my water.

Anyway, we stood in line for like an hour to go on the river ride and got summarily drenched by the waterfall. It felt delicious. Of course, immediately afterward, the clouds gathered and it began to rain. We saw a couple of shows, the sea lions paid no attention whatsoever to the trainers, and Shamu made me believe in myself. The end.

I still haven't gotten quite comfortable enough at work to blog from there, but I'm becoming more and more convinced they don't know or give a crap what I do on my computer. The other day I turned in an assignment to my boss and he said "Umm... why don't you... go mess around on the internet for a while." And I did. It was beautiful.

I may begin to write entries at work and send them in to my ghost writer, Philip. He calls it freelancing, but I'm pretty sure you get to put your name on your own work when you freelance.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The most Constitutional city in America

Here's my attempt at a quick update. I am in San Antonio now, in my very dude-like sublet. Also, this guy doesn't have cable TV or internet, so I'm attempting to steal internet from his neighbors. However, none of the unsecured connections are very strong, so hopefully I will soon begin blogging and checking my personal e-mail at work.

Work started Monday. After watching a 45 minute video about sexual harrassment made specifically for the DOJ and a "computer security" video made around 1980 using CalecoVisions, I was put to work right away. So far I've written three decisions for two different judges, worked on a research question for a third and sat through a cancellation of removal case and an asylum case. So, it's been kind of busy, but very interesting work. I get to feel very important because you need secret passcodes to get everywhere in the building. Also, I was sworn in as an officer of the Department of Justice yesterday. By a judge. I have to defend the Constitution and America, and all that good stuff. Haha, they sure made a mistake.

Mal also came to visit, so I guess you can read about most of the weekend on his blog. He forgot to mention, however, one of the greatest moments of the weekend was while we were waiting for the special extra scene at the end of Pirates of the Carribean, the movie theatre "security guard" flashed us with his flashlight. What did he think we were doing? Don't answer that. This visit we went to the Quarry enough times to last me a year, and downtown to the Riverwalk at night, which is one of my favorite things to do. It's lit up very prettily. We also went to the SA Alamo Draft House for some beers and Nacho Libre. God help me, I enjoyed it. Jack Black, your crazy singing voice never gets old to me. Next time: Sea World!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

The tonsils did not kill me

Well, I know I promised I would update on my tonsil status, preferably from an altered state, but sometimes things just don't go the way you planned. Also, I'm a dirty liar. Anyway, Mal updated saying I wasn't dead afterward, which is true. Man, I felt great right after my surgery. That whole first day was pretty awesome. I watched TV all day, text messaged like a fiend, and had a couple of milkshakes. The thing about the second and third days, though, is that is when the anesthesia really starts to wear off. Sure, I had narcotics, but those didn't really last the entire time I supposedly had to wait between doses. That whole first week or so ended up being pretty painful. I even went back to the doctor's about a week after because it was still pretty bad and I was quickly running out of pain meds. Who knew they kept narcotics so hard to get? After that 8th day, though, I turned the corner and had mac and cheese. Were you aware that Chili's serves Kraft mac and cheese and charges $3.99 for it? My server was kind enough to point that out to me. I'm currently almost-recovered and can eat pretty much anything as long as it's not chips or peanuts or anything that might tear my throat open. Which is good, because I was getting reaaaaal sick of Jello and milkshakes. Ice cream sucks when you can only have two kinds - vanilla and chocolate. No strawberry, it may have chunks in it! No fun stuff with anything mixed in, stupid, you might cause major bleeding. Oh well, thank God that's over.

In other news, my apartment in Austin is packed up and waiting in storage for my other apartment to open up. I thank the Craigslist gods that I was able to sell all the furniture that would not fit into my new place.

4th of July was all right, but it was raining all day. That's been the trend these past few days, and there doesn't seem to be any end to the rain in sight. I guess it sucks, but the other option is 100+ degree heat, so I'm not sure what's worse. Philip invited me along to his grandparents' country club for their usual 4th of July festivities, and we went, but it was pretty much eat and leave, as the fireworks were postponed until September 15. Why until September 15? No one knows. Earlier that day, we went and visited my friend Laurie, who left last night for Seoul. She's going to be stationed in South Korea for a year. Well that's one patriotic way to celebrate the fourth of July. I prefer watching several hours of soccer, what's more American than that? Come on, making fun of Italians is 100% American.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Farewell, tonsils

Well, folks, I may not update in the near future since I am getting my tonsils out tomorrow and will probably be drugged up in the next few days. I'll try and post when I'm really doped up, for humor's sake, but I don't know how feasible that will be if I can't type.

For my last day of eating, we had buffalo wings for lunch. This evening, I went to the Astros game with Laurie and her sister again, but this time they won against the Twins. For my last meal, I had pizza and ice cream with a waffle cone. Goodbye, food. I'll miss you.

For those of you keeping track, Monday was the deadline to turn in grades. I have all but Property, and Dz e-mailed us today that "since he has over 300 exams to grade", he got "an extra week to work on it per University regulations". Fine, whatever. I'm just glad to have more than one grade posted.

So long, folks. Philip, I'm expecting Season One of Grey's soon...

Monday, June 19, 2006

No, I am not underwater

So, I have had a few people* call me today asking if I am in need of a raft or canoe of some kind. My part of town never floods. So, feel free to send one over to the other side of city, but I can assure you I'm good.

In the middle of the rain storm this morning, though, I got to drive over to the doctor's and the hospital to have my pre-op and pre-admit appointments. As many of you know, I am getting my tonsils out this week, Thursday to be precise (they rescheduled today). I really didn't know what to expect, but I should have known. What else do you do at a doctor's office? Wait. And answer a bunch of questions about my medical history. I didn't tell them I had the herp, I was too embarassed. Besides, that has nothing to do with my tonsils. One of the forms I had to sign had all that waiver crap, inlcuding "I acknowledge that there are no guarantees". I nearly laughed out loud, as it reminded me of first case in law school ever, Hawkins v. McGee. Seriously, they still need to put that in a waiver? I realized that laughing would, in fact, make me a huge tool outright (as opposed to just a closet tool) and the nurse would probably stick me extra hard with the needle. Also, did you know they can test for your pulse in your foot?

Happy birthday to Philip. Sorry about the apocalypse raining down on you.

*relatives and family friends. Not anyone cool.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Like platinum I shine

I saw that on someone's license plate cover on Friday. He was P-I-M-P-ing in a blue Accord.

First of all, mad props to Doozer for e-mailing out the pictures from last weekend! There were a few choice ones, but this one has to be my favorite, even though I can't really explain why.

Friday was a mad fury of activity that I don't usually do in an entire week. Philip and I went to the Galleria where we both convinced each other to drop way more than we should have on, let's be honest, some pretty fly gear. On the way home, we were in a left turn lane that was green, and when it turned red, five cars ran the red light. Five. I missed driving in Houston. After that, I went to Laurie's house and we went to the Astros game from there. Her sister has season tickets, so our seats were pretty deece. The game... was a bit atrocious. There was one exciting inning where the Stros scored two points... but we ended up leaving in the 8th inning. Not so much because they were losing 7-2, but because Katie had tickets to go see Harland Williams at the Laff Stop. He is perhaps best known for his role in the movie Half Baked, which you may have totally forgotten about until now. I assure you, it is still awesome. And all that in ONE DAY.

Saturday, it rained most of the day and I stayed in and flipped between the World Cup matches and some of my favorite TLC programming. Never thought you'd hear that, right? That late afternoon, I drove all the way out to BFE (aka Deer Park) for Laurie's welcome home party. She's the one who just finished basic training and AIT... I forgot what that stands for. Everything is an acronym. Nice area of town, huh? I don't think I've ever been out there before, but then again, I did see signs for the Battleship Texas and San Jacinto monument, so I'm sure I've been out there for field trips a few times. All I can say is, I'm glad I don't live in the part of town that blows up every few years and has a year-round stench.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

I've got a new tradition

And that is, stealing things from Dana's blog. Suck it, Dana. What are you going to do? I mean, there's plenty of things you could and probably will do. But rather than come up with a list of hyperboled hypotheticals, I'll just sit back and see what you come up with. See how I got out of putting any of my own effort into that one, too?

Well, Dana's latest update has about a bajillion links in it, I think he's even more link-happy than Philip. One of those links contained this marvelous little nugget. Enjoy.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006


Doozer and Nips, send pictures!!! You were the only people who took pictures at all. Well, almost.

For detailed accounts, please visit our sponsor

Why, why did I ever complain about it being cold in South Bend? And by that, I mean, this weekend - why did I complain that it was moderately cool when we went out in the morning? True, at night it was a bit too cold for my taste but during the day it was glorious. The minute I stepped out of the airport in Houston on Sunday night, I felt like suffocating. It was 89 degrees and probably about 90% humidity. At 10:30 at night.

Goat has a pretty detailed account of what happened this weekend. Mal has something that rounds out the general points of interest. All I can really add is to say that even though I spent 3 hours in Midway on Friday night, I didn't realize it had a Potbelly's until Sunday night. Dammit! Also, Corby's is pretty sweet now, even more so than before. Guys vs. Nipples Cups Game resulted in an early lead for Nipples but eventual defeat to the Guys. Energy drink and alcohol = not all that tasty. I'm sticking to beer from now on. I gave up my Oyster Bar V-Card. Mexico beat Iran, and I think I'm the only one who could keep down more than five bites of food at Nick's Patio on Sunday.

Why did we go to Oscar's again? More importantly, why didn't we go to the Backer?

Friday, June 09, 2006

Shamelessly stolen, but oh so good

Judge Gregory Presnell from the Middle District of Florida is a favorite of the federal court junkie... This latest order shows why:

Case No. 6:05-cv-1430-Orl-31JGG

d/b/a Avista Plex, Inc.,





This matter comes before the Court on Plaintiff’s Motion to designate location of a Rule
30(b)(6) deposition (Doc. 105). Upon consideration of the Motion – the latest in a series of
Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts – it is ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit: at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties. If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of “rock, paper, scissors.” The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006. If either party disputes the outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and a hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006 before the undersigned in Courtroom 3, George C. Young United States Courthouse and Federal Building, 80 North Hughey Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801.

DONE and ORDERED in Chambers, Orlando, Florida on June 6, 2006.
United States District Judge

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Who doesn't love a quickie?

Post, that is. Okay, I figured I'd better update before I head off to the Weekend of Total Debauchery and Insanity that will be Animal House Reunion (right? Riiiiiight?). Things to know: Mexico went well, my cousin is pregnant, so now the pressure is on in the family not only to get married but also to start producing grandkids. I bought a pirate shirt in Mexico. I'm getting my tonsils out at some point soon. Dana has a blog, you should read it because it's witty at times and generally one more distraction, and he is my fellow Domer at UT Law. Philip lives behind a bookcase and is now living in Narnia. My laptop can't connect to the internet in my room.

See you all in the Bend tomorrow :-)

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Grood. Great and good.

1) Congrats to Brian and Katie Vnak for having twins! Holy crap, my friends have kids! I'm getting old! Hooray for babies.

2) I got my Religious Liberties grade today, which in itself is fine. However, I will now be checking the grades website obsessively until they are all up. D.Freeman, you send me so many e-mails, can't you be on top of this instead?

3) I'm leaving tomorrow for Mexico, suckers! Screw you, rainy Houston. I'll be gone for about a week (hopefully back by Wednesday) and then will be off to South Bend on Friday for the Animal House reunion. So what if I'm the only falto there? I'm sure I won't get wrecked because of that.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Memorial Day... a day to be stuck in traffic

So, as promised, I went back to Austin this weekend to attempt to get some of my stuff together. Man, do I have a lot of crap. I got there Friday and promptly went to see X-Men 3, which was pretty good. Seeing as I went opening night, I didn't know about the super-secret extra scene, and frankly, I wanted to get out of the claustrophobic theater ASAP. Did you know the Gateway Cinema doesn't have stadium seating? How are they still in business? I guess it's been a while since I've gone to see one of the big summer movies on opening night... the lines, the nerds in costume... I don't think it's quite for me.

Saturday I went to San Antonio to check out the apartment I'm subletting for the summer. It's decent, right in the middle of the medical district. Acceptable for two months. Apparently there's a little bit of crime in the area, but hey, at least I'm right next to a bunch of hospitals! I'll just walk to the emergency room, save me the ambulance fee. Also, it's right near a pool hall called "Nice Rack". BONG.

That night, I went back to Austin and met up with Miguel, his brother, and a bunch of his brother's friends at Shakespeare's downtown. I also ran into two girls from high school there, which was okay, I guess, but I still get weirded out because man, if I don't see you for four years, you pretty much stop existing in my book. After Shakespeare's, Miguel and I got brats from the Best Wurst stand on 6th street. That's like an institution. And we made friends with the girl behind us who kept pushing us becuase "You can't let those people cut in line!!!" What people? Who knows.

Sunday was lazing, followed by the best drive ever in stop and go traffic on 290 on Monday on the way home. Laurie got a "day off" for Memorial Day, so they let her use her cell phone in basic training, and she called and we got to talk for about an hour, which was super great. Apparently she loves it, and is labeled an "expert" in grenades and "sharpshooter" in M-16s. Hear that, people? My best friend can kill you with her bare hands... don't mess.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Fun with pictures

If Ernie Young.....

mated with John Dzienkowski....

What would they produce?

Extended hiatus

I've gotten complaints that I'm not updating enough to your liking. The truth is, I've been in Houston for a week and a half or so, and there is literally nothing to do. I watch a lot of TV. I help my mom cook dinner. That's about it.

My dad's birthday was on Tuesday. We got him a sander and a stereo. And we had brownies and ice cream that night.

See what I mean, people? Do you want more of that? Do you?

I'm heading back to Austin tomorrow, which should provide more craziness than now. Things to do, people to see. Or things to see, such as X-Men 3. That will be the highlight of my weekend. I am so not lying right now.

So, I've been rereading Scott Turow's "One L" to see just how full of shit he is. During orientation, we were told not to believe much of it, and in hindsight, they were right. They also said, "You know, if you don't want law school to be stressful, maybe you shouldn't attempt to write your first novel during your first year." Take that, Turow. Also, the 1Ls at Harvard are insane. Reading ahead? Reading law review artices about the case to have extra info in class? How can you complain about gunners when your entire class is some sort of race of super-gunners? God, I'll kill you, Harvard Law Class From 25 Years Ago! I can't even get myself to finish reading past their first finals.

So, I turn to TV instead. Does anyone else think Jorge Ramos is the Hispanic Anderson Cooper? Decide for yourselves.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Can't get enough Jason Bateman?

I know I can't. I just discovered the website Brilliant but Cancelled, which has the entirety of his pilot that never got picked up by NBC called The Jake Effect. It combines Jason Bateman and lawyers, what more could you want? And by you, I mean me. And the answer is nothing.

Edit: I suppose to make the sentence grammatically correct, I should probably say, "And by you, I mean I." But that sounds weird, doesn't it?

Friday, May 19, 2006

Blow me, Bureaucracy

Mother of God. 7 hours in a government office. Granted, it was not the US Government's office, it was the Mexican Consulate's office, but still - GOOD LORD. The only thing that stopped me from committing suicide was the lack of an object sharp enough, that and the judging from all those around me. The one bright spot is that I saw a guy with a hook for a hand! He was pretty entertaining, although I don't think he meant to be, and if he knew how many times I was staring at his hook, he would have impaled me with it. Damn, I should have made a bad hook joke, he would have put me out of my misery. There was also an employee who was wearing a red elastic-waistband jacket with the sleeves pushed up, Miami Vice-style. AND he was wearing a piano key necktie!
*Note!* Although this man is not wearing a piano key necktie, this is one of the first images that comes up when you search google. I like the fact that he is labeled an "objet d'art". Classy.

Anyway, after that, I had to go redo my fingerprints for the DOJ because, apparently, the first time I did them they were too dark but hopefully they will scan in that crazy, 2 million dollar machine of theirs. Suck it, bureaucracy.

So, some people have said they have gotten grades back. A-bwaaaah? Maybe it's just for upper level courses, because I'm still convinced there's at least a month left until we get ours.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Family Matters... no, Family Ties... wait...

When I was an undergrad at ND, coming home was an awesome experience. Having your kid over 1,000 miles away is pretty rough on parents, especially when I'm the first one in my entire family to go away to college. Naturally, when I came home, I was spoiled rotten. Mom would take me shopping, Dad would take us all out to eat, and it was pretty great to be home because all my other friends that went away to college were home then, too, so I could always call them up and go out with them.

Now, harsh reality is setting in. I now live a mere 3 hours from home, so coming home, while still nice, is not all that special. I think it hurts the pocketbook the most. Now that I'm in grad school, all the loans are in my name, and my parents say "well, you've got your own money, you don't need ours anymore!" Oh, god, I do. I do if I want to go shopping! Why would you deprive me of that?

Anyway, my point is, I am bored here at home, I don't have money to go shopping, and none of my friends are back yet. Someone entertain me!

I was always a sucker for Michael J. Fox as a young Republican in a tie....

Also, Jason Bateman's sister, who Jason Bateman had a strange obsession with having love scenes with..

Monday, May 15, 2006

I'm really making an effort

During the semester, when I have things to do, it's very easy to procrastinate doing those things by writing in this blog. For those of you who don't know, I finished my last exam Thursday and hence have no reason whatsoever to continue writing this blog. However, I'll make an attempt not to fall off the face of the earth, and once my job starts, I'll let you know all the immigration craziness I'll be dealing with, or as much as the government will allow me to say. For now, I have at least two weeks off until I start. When do I start, you ask? Yeah, that'd be nice to know. Um, if you could let me know sometime soon, Department of Justice, I could really use that info.

So, there was some craziness this weekend, but there is no way I could ever say it in as much detail or as hilariously as Animal, so I'm going to pull a Nips and just link to his blog and let you get that info from him.

Sunday I drove into Houston to see the family, because they miss me (who wouldn't really), and... I'm not sure what else. Today my big task was showering and eating before 3pm. And then I watched How I Met Your Mother (which is enraging me right now - more Barney, less weepy emotional stuff) and Grey's Anatomy (blah blah blah). So, in sum, I love vacation. Please don't make me go back to school.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I am not surprised

I am a classic spoons!
Find your own pose!

The law school version of '24'

That's right my friends, less than 24 hours and I will be DONE with finals and my first year of law school! It's been bittersweet, but I am ready to pound out 3 hours' of property tomorrow and then proceed to forget everything I learned in the past year at Crown and Anchor on Dzienkowski's dollar. Or really, Fulbright and Jaworski's dollar, since we are using all the money left over from the society program to fund our drunken giddy post-finals debauchery.

In other news, I bought these shoes recently, and can't wait to wear them. Steve Madden, you magnificent bastard. If I ever meet you, I will kiss you squaw on the lips. Even though, let's be honest, if you are designing shoes that fabulous, you're probably gay.

It would be fun for me to check back every hour so you know what I'm doing, a la 24. But I won't.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

I totally agree

Strange habits #2

Eating habits go out of control around finals time. Some meals are skipped, others are eaten to maximum stuffed-ness of the belly. Prime example:

Today's meal: One DiGiornio personal pizza around 3:30pm. One small salad around 9pm.
Yesterday: Burger and fries around 1pm. Chinese food at 10pm.
The day before: Chicken nuggets and fries around noon. One of those Bird's Eye Viola meals around 8pm. By the way, Viola meals - best things in the world. I could live off of them.

Also, if you've noticed the vast majority of my meals have been from fast food restaurants. What can I say, I need fuel for my nervous energy. Besides the many lattes, which I can't even count.

Oh yeah, chocolate doesn't count as meals, but it's interspersed in there, too.

I wish I was a 3L and stopped caring about finals.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Strange habits

I have to answer some of Elizabeth's qualms about law school, and I also want to attempt to be a witty observer of law school. First of all, a difference between Scott Turow's "One L" experience is that they had year-long first year courses whereas all of UT's first year courses are only a semester long. This is good in the sense that you don't have a giant test at the end of the year covering everything, but sucks because the professors have to cram a year's worth of material into a semester. Poop.

Honestly, law school finals are hard, but they're not soul-crushing. Not. Quite. Okay, so maybe a little piece of me dies every time I write down my exam number, but depending on the person, you could either have a nervous breakdown or just have a tough two weeks that culminate in your property professor taking your entire class out for drinks, which isn't too shabby.

So, let me tell you a little bit about the different types of tests and some stereotypical "types" of test-takers for each.

1. Your typical 4-hour in-class exam. Almost all my tests last semester were like this. The first time you go through it, you have no clue what the time pressure is going to be like. Four hours is kind of a long time, and a lot of people have to pee in the middle of it. This one, basically everyone sits at their laptop and types for four hours straight, and if they have to pee, they strategically wait until they've finished a section, then make a made dash for the bathroom. It's like a race to see how quickly you can empty your bladder while taking some time to think of how you'll organize your next issue all at once.

2. 8-hour take-home. As noted below, the cruelest form of torture known to man. Some prefer to bring some small, yet healthy snacks in the library and sit in the same chair for 8 hours straight, print occasionally and spend the last half hour of their time editing and perfecting their prose. Others (like me) prefer to bring in their headphones, take multiple mini-breaks to check people's away messages and The Superficial, and leave the library for twenty minutes or so for a lunch break.

3. 24-hour take-home. First type of people will pick up the test promptly at 12pm (or whenever they can pick it up), work constantly for 7 hours, take a break and eat dinner, proofread their paper, and print it out at 9pm and go to bed. They will wake up early, read it over once more, and turn it in a good hour ahead, just in case there's traffic. Group 2 (me, again), will pick it up between noon and 1, decide to come home and immediately say, well... it's really time for lunch. And after lunch, we will look over the question. Then, oh my god, it's the episode of The Cosby Show where the guys are pregnant! Okay, I'll take a half hour to watch this, and THEN, really, then it's time to start writing. Okay, well, I also like this episode of Cosby Show, so I'll just leave it on while I look over the problem and sort of.. outline the answer. Four hours later, still staring at a blank screen. Eventually, around 5pm, the writing begins, at midnight you're ready to kill yourself, and you give up around 3am, while setting your alarm for 7 so you can finish up at the very last minute, park illegaly and rush to turn it in just under the wire.

This has been a total waste of time. If you want some REAL entertainment, check this out.