Friday, May 05, 2006

Strange habits

I have to answer some of Elizabeth's qualms about law school, and I also want to attempt to be a witty observer of law school. First of all, a difference between Scott Turow's "One L" experience is that they had year-long first year courses whereas all of UT's first year courses are only a semester long. This is good in the sense that you don't have a giant test at the end of the year covering everything, but sucks because the professors have to cram a year's worth of material into a semester. Poop.

Honestly, law school finals are hard, but they're not soul-crushing. Not. Quite. Okay, so maybe a little piece of me dies every time I write down my exam number, but depending on the person, you could either have a nervous breakdown or just have a tough two weeks that culminate in your property professor taking your entire class out for drinks, which isn't too shabby.

So, let me tell you a little bit about the different types of tests and some stereotypical "types" of test-takers for each.

1. Your typical 4-hour in-class exam. Almost all my tests last semester were like this. The first time you go through it, you have no clue what the time pressure is going to be like. Four hours is kind of a long time, and a lot of people have to pee in the middle of it. This one, basically everyone sits at their laptop and types for four hours straight, and if they have to pee, they strategically wait until they've finished a section, then make a made dash for the bathroom. It's like a race to see how quickly you can empty your bladder while taking some time to think of how you'll organize your next issue all at once.

2. 8-hour take-home. As noted below, the cruelest form of torture known to man. Some prefer to bring some small, yet healthy snacks in the library and sit in the same chair for 8 hours straight, print occasionally and spend the last half hour of their time editing and perfecting their prose. Others (like me) prefer to bring in their headphones, take multiple mini-breaks to check people's away messages and The Superficial, and leave the library for twenty minutes or so for a lunch break.

3. 24-hour take-home. First type of people will pick up the test promptly at 12pm (or whenever they can pick it up), work constantly for 7 hours, take a break and eat dinner, proofread their paper, and print it out at 9pm and go to bed. They will wake up early, read it over once more, and turn it in a good hour ahead, just in case there's traffic. Group 2 (me, again), will pick it up between noon and 1, decide to come home and immediately say, well... it's really time for lunch. And after lunch, we will look over the question. Then, oh my god, it's the episode of The Cosby Show where the guys are pregnant! Okay, I'll take a half hour to watch this, and THEN, really, then it's time to start writing. Okay, well, I also like this episode of Cosby Show, so I'll just leave it on while I look over the problem and sort of.. outline the answer. Four hours later, still staring at a blank screen. Eventually, around 5pm, the writing begins, at midnight you're ready to kill yourself, and you give up around 3am, while setting your alarm for 7 so you can finish up at the very last minute, park illegaly and rush to turn it in just under the wire.

This has been a total waste of time. If you want some REAL entertainment, check this out.

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