Everyone come see how good I look

Well, my friends, I'm going to leave you for several days. I'm going to South Bend this weekend, where I am to look for ND sandals for Jaimie, go see Miguel's play, and basically get into drunken foolish debauchery. I'll let you know if I survive.

I've spent the last 3 hours filling out forms for my internship this summer. Tentative on my passing the background check, I'll be working for the Department of Justice, Executive Office of Immigration Review, which means I get to do grunt work for 5 judges instead of just one. And apparently it means I need to fill out about 10,000 pages of employment history and people that know me. I don't know if I have that many friends, United States Government. Leave me alone.

Finally, I leave you with a request to pray for Vnak and Katie. Most of you who read this know them, but for those of you who don't, Katie is expecting twins, and one of them is struggling to keep up a bit, it seems. So, check out Vnak's blog for the full story, and let's get some tootin's!

Last inflammatory question: What's worse: Khaki on khaki or denim on denim? YOU DECIDE.

British Invasion

Did anybody happen to catch The Simpsons tonight? I know for most of you, the answer is no. While The Simpsons has been on a steady decline lately, I continue to watch out of sheer habit of watching The Simpsons every Sunday night for the past God knows how many years... at least 8 or 9 (but probably more). If you did, though, man, it certainly paid off. Tonight's episode was entirely written by British star and person I'm currently stalking, Ricky Gervais, and also guest starred his voice. Which means that Ricky Gervais wrote this particularly relevant joke:

British Lady: My husband hasn't satisfied me for years.
Homer: I feel the same way about Notre Dame football.

By which I can only deduce that Ricky Gervais is an Irish fan, and is waiting for Charlie Weiss and our boys to blow everyone out of the water next season. That's exactly what that means. I'm in law school. My logic powers are unstoppable.

Secondly, I would like to send a message to all my lady friends out there, and that is, go get fitted for a bra. I went and did that this weekend, and boy, it has changed my world. I'm not going to disclose details, but my bra size is drastically different than I thought it was. I promise you, it will change your life.

Lastly, Tuesday is our last regular season softball game (that's within law school, so you know it's competitive). I love softball because in our last game, my participation consisted of this:

1. Run out to center field
2. Run back
3. Bat once, then let another girl bat the next time I'm up so everyone gets to bat.
   

And I can still say that our team is 2-0 thanks to me.

This is post 101, and I've been tagged

So I just realized that Goat has tagged me, and a higher power from above forces me to respond. Also, the PopoZao video was post #100 for my blog. Hooray for me!

Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. Assistant Stage Manger - Summer Shakespeare (Notre Dame, IN)
   
2. Cluster Consultant (best job ever) - NDOIT (ND, IN)
   
3. Sales Associate - New York and Company (Houston, TX)
   
4. Phone girl/pizza bitch - Pizza Hut (Houston, TX)
   

Four movies I could watch over and over:

1. When Harry Met Sally ("I have a theory that heiroglyphics are just an ancient cartoon about a guy named Sphinxy.")
   
2. Empire Records ("Whats with today, today?")
   
3. The Rainmaker ("Sworn in by a fool and vouched for by a scoundrel. I'm a lawyer at last.")
4. SNL Best of Will Ferrell (Does this count as a movie? I don't care) - ("Goulet!")

Five places I have lived:

1. Houston, TX
   
2. South Bend, IN
3. Toledo, Spain
   
4. Austin, TX
   
5. Brockton, MA
   

Five TV shows I love to watch:

1. Law and Order: SVU
   
2. What Not To Wear
   
3. Arrested Development
   
4. Scrubs
5. Seinfeld
   

Four websites I visit daily:

1. http://thesuperficial.com
2. http://gofugyourself.typepad.com
   
3. GMail
   
4. http://kittycanscratch.typepad.com
   

Five places I have been on vacation:

1. Cancun, Mexico
   
2. Paris, Rome, London, Dublin, etc. (semester in Europe)
   
3. Toronto, Canada and Boston, MA (fall break trip)
   
4. New York, NY
   
5. Acapulco, Mexico
   

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Baked ziti
   
2. Fajitas
   
3. Chopped beef from Rudy's
   
4. Breakfast tacos
   

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. Cancun (because, it's Cancun)
   
2. South Bend (visiting the Animal House crew) (yeah, so I stole that from Goat, but it's true)
   
3. Monterrey, Mexico (visiting my fam)
   
4. Downtown Austin (as opposed to my apartment)
   

Four friends I am tagging:

1. Eliz
   
2. Kat
   
3. Philip
   
4. Megan
   

Just to reiterate

This video is amazing. Don't pass it up. It's right on my blog... so easy to watch! That's FIRE.

I'm rich, beeyotch

So, Mike has been following the issue of salary increases in big firms very closely. Basically, Vinson and Elkins raised their minimum first-year associate salary, and all the big Texas firms are following suit. What does the increase in base salary from Baker Botts mean? Does it mean less of a chance of income growth per year? Are you going to sign up for a firm and get stuck with their lousy $130,000 a year salary for five years?

I suppose a mega-genius like Mike, who is probably set with his huge firm, has to worry about these things. Law Review editor, general lyric genius. You have the luxury of deciding which mega-firm with mega-salaries to choose from, and what this pay raise means for salaries for years to come.

Me, I'm hoping I get a job at all. A non-paying public interest job, bitches! Take your base salary and shove it.

It's been a while

Well, I haven't posted in over a week, and a lot has happened since then, so there are a lot of things to address. I'll attempt to do it in short, bullet-style fashion, to accomodate the ADD-type attention spans that we all have (and that I currently have, having just chugged two Diet Cokes in a row. Woo caffeine).

• Wedding in Cancun. Awesome wedding, family happy that the first of the grandkids is finally married off, sunny weather, but too windy to go in the ocean. Highlights include renting a golf cart to go around Isla Mujeres (which made me realize just how much we missed out when the baritones did not buy one) and the crazy old guy who joined us in the hot tub and explained how he is not a racist.
• Interview in San Antonio. Went very well, and was actually offered the job today. It's with the Department of Justice, Executive Office of Immigration Review. Working with judges, helping kick illegals out of the country, and keeping those in that can/deserve to stay. Also had a second phone interview today with the Children's Museum in Chicago, so hopefully I'll hear from them by the end of the week, so I can make a decision. (How come this never happened earlier? Where were you, firms? WHERE?)
• Wedding #2: High School Reunion Boogaloo. Our little Joey Michnick is all grown up. Lots of reminiscing with high school friends abound. Blake Calcote plays poker for a living - how awesome is that?
• Falto mini-reunion in San Antonio, by which I mean, Miguel and I went to the mall and to dinner, and made plans for this summer if/when I take the job.
• Benders: I will be in town that last weekend in March - the 30 - April 2. Highlights of the weekend will include seeing Miguel's play and catching up with the genius/insane Anton Juan. Let me know if you want to meet up!
  
• You may be tempted to skip over this link, but I assure you that will be a fatal mistake. Seeing K-Fed in action, rather than on the pages on US Weekly is an experience in itself and PopoZao is... you have to see it for yourself.
• I discovered Ricky Gervais' old radio show on XFM and have discovered that they re-used a bunch of old topics on the new Ricky Gervais podcast! And I lost all faith in humanity.

Um... I think that's it. And I rented Proof, which was pretty good, and Gwyneth Paltrow is sort of insane. Looking forward to playing softball tomorrow!

In high school, I always had problem with the conclusions. Looks like I still have that problem.

Spring Mental Breakdown

Mother of God, do I need this Spring Break. This semester both sucks and blows. The consensus among Section 4 is that everybody cares much less and is immensely less motivated to study or even keep up with the reading. Perhaps some sort of mid-first-year slump? Class attendance is way down for everyone, and there's a general low grumble of dissatisfaction among everyone, not just our section.

So, needless to say, I'm pumped about Spring Break. To start off, I'm leaving Austin a few days early to head to Houston and fly to Cancun for my cousin's wedding. She's getting married on Friday, and I can't wait to go see my family and hang out on the beach for a few days! The one that's getting married is the one in blue - aren't we a pretty family? Yeah, I know.

So I'm getting back to Houston that Sunday, and plan to spend the week actually reading all that stuff I should've done all last month, and also watch every movie that I haven't seen yet (like Walk the Line). Somehow in there, I have an interview in San Antonio, and an ND Young Alumni St. Paddy's Day party in downtown Houston, and my friend Joe's wedding at the end of break.

Hopefully I can keep that nice mix of laziness and actually getting some stuff done. But, for now, back to con law.

----------------------------
Favorite moment from the A&F show is still:

Professor Dzienkowski saying the line, "Wait - I can turn back time and change my cheating and swindling ways! Weeeeeeeeeee!"

or, from the skits video:

Professor Wellborn: "When I was asked if I would want to be dean, I thought, well, if you take one of those giant cucumbers, the ones with the radiation, and you told me, given a choice between being dean of the law school and shoving that entire cucumber up my rectum, I'd say: Grease up the cucumber."

BURN!

And now, I actually leave you with a photo from Saturday night's party, themed "Brokeback Mounting" (yeah, I don't know either. And no, that's not my gun.)

You know you're a genius when

You can write lyrics like these (to the tune of Jewel's "Foolish Games"):

"Some stupid question with five kids and six parents in four different colored canoes
I guess I failed to notice,
I guess I failed to see,
If Zanzibar rides with Yolanda, then he can't ride with Xerxes."

Mike, you are my hero. I hate logic games, too.

Does this mean I get to sleep in class?

It has recently been reported that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, aka Big Glasses and Tight Bun, fell asleep during oral arguments the other day.

The case had to do with redistricting in the state of Texas. The Republicans redrew the political districts in what appears to be a move to shut a certain group of voters (Hispanics) out of certain districts and into new ones. (In which case it would be racial discrimination, which blah blah blah, I'm not in con law right now and you don't want to hear the explanation).

The article says:

The Supreme Court had put the Texas cases on the fast track, scheduling an unusually long two-hour afternoon session.

The subject matter was extremely technical, and near the end of the argument Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg dozed in her chair. Justices David Souter and Samuel Alito, who flank the 72-year-old, looked at her but did not give her a nudge.

First of all - "unusually long two-hour afternoon session"; how long are they usually in court in the afternoons? I have like four straight hours of class every day, you morons!

Second of all - if both Souter and Alito, who is Chief Justice, noticed, why did they just let her keep sleeping? You would think it's Alito's job to keep order in the court (because things can get pretty crazy in the Supreme Court, with all the basketball playing on the roof), so he probably should've woken her up, right?

That's it, I'm sleeping in class every day from now on.

Shameless plug

Don't forget to get your tickets to "The Big Dzienkowski," Assault & Flattery's
annual spring musical!


Based on the Coen brothers classic, The Big Lebowski, this year's show features Professor Dzienkowski himself in all four performances, and 90 of your most talented classmates. Here's a little taste to whet the appetite....

" An unpaid TLF pledge leads to the confusion of two men, both named John Dzienkowski: one, the Dude, a lazy 4L, the other, the John S. Redditt Professor of State and Local Government. When TLF loan sharks look to collect the pledge from the wrong Dzienkowski, the Dude is forced to survive a feminist vixen, his worthless friends, goose-stepping Rhinelander's, a Gunner empowered by a stolen holy hornbook, and a library investigator hot on the trail of the selfsame book. In the end, it might all just make sense."


The Saturday night performance is sold out, but there are still tickets left for March 3rd to 5th with an evening show Friday, a Saturday matinee at 2 p.m., and a Sunday matinee at 3 p.m. Evening tickets are $12, matinee $10.


Come by the A&F table in the Atrium this week to buy your tickets, t-shirts, and posters! Email assault@law.utexas.edu with any questions.

So, come to the show, and come drink with me afterwards.