The Phantom Menace

ummmm...yea...have you been in any wet t-shirt contests lately?

I think my boss is trying to live vicariously through me. Every morning, I come in and I usually go to his office (I get in about an hour after he does like every good government employee), and he asks me, “So, what’d you do last night?" It's as he's if expecting to hear some crazy story that ends with me getting a tattoo in Tijuana.

I guess I don’t blame him. He’s 30 years old and just had his third(?!) kid a little more than a month ago. I’m sure he misses the days of going out and getting crazy… if he ever had them. I hate to disappoint, but unfortunately, for the most part, the stories mainly include me watching a DVD (since the TV is all biffed up [that’s right, I’m using biffed up – thanks Katie!]).* Laurie told me to stay away from him, he’s extremely fertile. It’s best not to get too close.

One of the best parts of my day, though, is right around 4:00 every day, when a guy comes around with a GhostBusters-like vacuum and goes around making a vain attempt to vac up paper clips and post-its. One of these days I’m going to yell, “Who you gonna call??”

*biffed
v.

To live in a cave-man like state (circa 1975) in which television requires rabbit ears, internet requires theft, and the shower head resembles a seinfeld episode (apparently). and why are you still at work at 4? seriously.