Hasta luego, chupadores

Yeah, I totally made up the word for suckers in Spanish. You can't stop me!

Happy Festivus! I'm officially done with finals! Over my three week break, I plan to do no more reading than is necessary (probably exclusively cereal boxes) and catch lots of movies and TV. Oh, baby. Today alone I must have put in about 8 hours of TV. VH1's Behind America's Next Top Model? Why not? I have nothing better to do! Two hours of What Not To Wear? Yes, please. I even busted out the Nintendo and played a little Paper Boy this afternoon. In other words, best afternoon of my life.

Tomorrow (yes, on Christmas Eve) I fly out to Mexico to spend Christmas and New Years with my family. That means you won't be able to get in touch with me for like a whole week - I know, it'll be hard for you. That's what this blog is for. And if you ever get lonely, just watch the 'Lazy Sunday' video - it always picks me up.

Merry Christmas, y'all!

Chronic-WHAT-cles of Narnia

Yeah, I know you've seen it. Shut up. It's funny!

Volverte a ver

I don't know if some of you out there know this, but I'm Hispanic. That's right, 100% My-Parents-Are-From-Mexico Hispanic. My many visits to Mexico each year keep my Spanish language skills up and also keep me up to date with all the hottest Columbian Mexican stars, including Juanes, one of my favorites. Here is is, below, knowing he looks like a badass because he just won a shitload of Grammys.Anyway, so Juanes is coming to Austin! In February! On a Friday night! Meaning that my awesome cousins could potentially drive up to see this concert. Except - oh, wait. Alison Peck is "supposedly" "getting married" that weekend in LA. What the hell, Alison? You planned it this way on purpose, didn't you? All I'm saying is if I don't get a wedding invitation in the mail soon, I'm buying tickets to the concert.

Glorious

My friend Jaime sent out an e-vite to a post-finals drinking bash and included the following hilarioius graphic in it. It took me a while to realize, but those are all our first-year professors. Brilliant!

A little breather to regain my sanity

So my last post (which I believe was about a week ago) didn't make much... sense. In any sense of the word. I blame finals. That was definitely me at my worst. Sleep deprived and just anxious to get things over with. But now, the clouds have parted and birds are singing. Why am I so happy? Am I done with finals? No, of course not! But the two awful ones are over with, so I may as well be done.

You can't get too upset studying for crimnal law. Law and Order and all its successful spin-offs are based on this branch of the law entirely. You don't see any lawyer shows about contracts, and God help anyone who even attempts to pitch a show about civil procedure, because they will be bludgeoned and tortured by any law student or lawyer in a fifty-mile radius. Hell, anyone in a fify-mile radius who even listens to them explain the basic concepts would probably go on a killing spree.

Yesterday was our civil procedure final, which was... yeah. Pretty insane. Worst test of my life? Definitely. But the main point is, it's over! Last night, to celebrate, I hosted a wee Christmas party for the law school folks. It was pretty chill, and I think exactly what a lot of us needed to relax after our anyeurisms of the whole week. After, a few of us went to this... warehouse party? It was bizzare, that's for sure. It was in East Austin, which is... not the most respectable part of town. So we pull up and there are lots of "alternative" or shall we say "cool" people coming in and out of this house. There's a stray dog somewhere in the entrance, and what appears to be a hobo-style garbage can fire in the back. *Note: I tried to search for "garbage can fire" on Google Images, and could not find an acceptable one. So we hung out on the porch for a while and returned to the relative safety and normalcy of our friend Joe's apartment. On the way out, the stray dog was wearing a t-shirt.

There's no way to catch a cold from standing around outside in the cold, right? I geniously decided not to bring a jacket because I thought we would be inside and then insisted I would be okay since I went to Notre Dame, bitches, and I can handle the cold! Maybe it was a bad idea...

Weeeee

Hey everyone, it's one in the morning on a Saturday! Well, Sunday I guess. Guess what I did all weekend? STUDY. Hoo boy, it doesn't get much more exciting than the life of a law student. John Grisham, you dirty liar. Law school isn't as glamorous as The Pelican Brief. You LIED. [Insert joke about reliance here; watch my soul go out the window]

Everything you've heard about finals... is true. I'm hoping for a freak-out on Monday's test from someone in my section, Freshman-Chemistry-in-Stepan style. To quote Jason Lawhorn, after our test on Monday, "I'm going to drink until I pass out." Hell yes, you are.

Hmm, this isn't turning out to be as hilariously sleep-deprivingly witty as I had hoped. Reggie Bush won the Heisman - I hate you, USC. With the fury of a thousand suns. Our only salvation is Jeff Samardzija. Help me Jeff Samardzija, you're my only hope. Shark, is your hair prettier than mine? Or perhaps just longer... Either way this picture is proof that Jeff Samardzija should have won the Heisman. Hello, is that not a perfect Heisman pose??

I'm going to go sleep under an overpass tonight. It'll help me appreciate that finals aren't that bad. Kat says to throw trash at me, so I get the full effect. So look for me under I-35! I hear you can learn some valuable lessons that way. "And that's why you always leave a note".

Also, a certain contracts professor has man boobs. I won't say which one, but I hear he has a close, personal relationship with Farnsworth. He also enjoys wearing thin Calvin Klein shirts on the weekends when he holds review sessions. I'll let you figure it out for yourselves.

One more tip - if you're just about to go to bed, don't watch old Baritone slide shows. It'll fill your heart with the wonderful memories of when you drank all the time with no consequences. ERRRM, I LOVE YOU, BILLY. Good God, let's just let the shit show begin.

School's out

The entire University of Texas shut down at 2pm because an ice storm is coming through. Look out, the temperature is dropping below 32 degrees, and it's sprinkling! Everybody shut down the city!

Haha, ohhh what a change from Notre Dame days, where I never had class cancelled due to weather. They made an announcement in the library that because the whole University is closed, the Law Library is also closed... pure mayhem. What?? The Library is closed? WHERE AM I GOING TO STUDY. I can't study at home!!! Finals are in less than a week! OH, GOD.

So our Contracts class was cancelled, which is awesome because he's going to reschedule it for Friday so we can learn something new just in time for our final on Monday. Super Awesome McSweetSweet. I'll kill you, weather. And Sokolow.

The Final Countdown

T-minus one week until finals begin.

Randomness

I like to give people I don't know but encounter on a regular basis nicknames that reflect what they are usually doing when I see/hear them. For example, my upstairs neighbor is Stompy because I can always hear when she comes home from the building-shaking steps she takes. The kids next door... well, they're just the Damn Neighbor Kids. They like to play outside at ungodly hours of the morning, usually with a basketball which I can only assume they bounce directly on my bedroom wall by the volume and intensity of the bounces.

Item #2 - The Lemon Law
First introduced on the TV show How I Met Your Mother, the Lemon Law allows you five minutes at the beginning of a date to call it off if you can see that things are not going well. Named after the law that allows you to return and get your money back for a "lemon" car, this allows you to ensure that you don't waste precious nights out with your friends with some loser. Pictured at left: The Lemon Law card, which you give to your prospective date right before walking away. Note: This seems like a good idea in theory, but I can't say I've put it into practice seeing as law school has taken over my social life. Try it out, tell me how it works for you!

Item #3 - Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey split up - oh man, this has only been the headline of so many magazines for, what, six months? Frankly, I'm glad. Now I won't have to see their ugly mugs on the cover of every magazine every week. People I know are actually genuinely upset that they are splitting up - come on. It's not like they're your friends who you thought were meant to be and this is shaking the very foundation of marriage and everything you believe in - grow up.

And last but not least, thanks to Samantha for pointing out that our criminal law professor, Michael Sharlot, is really Barty Crouch, of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire fame. Just see for yourself. (Barty Crouch is on the left).

Just call me Lizett Wells

So this post was supposed to be all about how I went on this Wells family trip to the movies, and how I feel like part of their family. Such a nice, wholesome Friday night - Dad and Marissa went to go see Chicken Little, while Andrew, Phil, Mom, and I went to see Harry Potter. So I thought to myself, you know what would be funny? If I got one of Phil's pictures of his family off of facebook and Photoshopped my way in them. And then, as I looked up the pictures, I realized... wow, that is really creepy. So, while I did feel like another Wells sibling that night, and I do love their family, Photoshopping my way into their family is just a step further than I am willing to go.

Asshole Bingo = very yes

Some of you may have seen this article already from Megan's blog. It describes, fairly accurately I might say, the law school experience (especially first year) and introduced me to the fabulous game that is Asshole Bingo (or as we might put it, Gunner* Bingo). Asshole Bingo is made up of a 'bingo card' with all your classes across the top and five assholes from you section (or 'gunners') along the side, in whichever order you choose.

So let's say for example, you have Gunner #2 on the left side and "Crim Law" on the top somewhere, and surprise, surprise, Gunner #2 has a question in Crim Law. Then you would mark an X in that box. First to bingo wins! This seems like yet another hilarious way to pass the one hour of class. Well done, Miss Doxie.

I think my favorite section, though, is the part where she pinpoints when your soul dies. And yes, for those of you who are interested, my soul is dead:

Because, see, law school makes you insane. There are no exceptions. Soon you will be nuts.

And it comes on slowly at first; you'll be at a party with other first years... Someone will fall over during a keg stand, or fall down a flight of stairs, or SOME accident will occur, and instead of calling the party foul, as would be appropriate in such an instance, one of your classmates will instead turn to the group and say, "That is a tort."

And you will AGREE. And you will LAUGH. Because it is TRUE.

Now. You have just passed an important milestone! At this point, your soul is dead. Sorry.

*Gunner = someone who shoots their arm into the air each time the professor asks a question or when a student who is called on hesitates for a fraction of a second.

Probably the best haiku ever

Yeah, my haiku tribute to Fro was pretty good. But this haiku, by our very own Peanut, is probably the best ever.

Go bleed on the field.
Not the men-stru-a-tion kind.
OOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!!

Oose, indeed.

Recreation

In the old days, blogging twice a week was a feat. I like to post more frequently because it amuses me, and I think inspires others to blog more frequently, which means more things for me to read while in class.

Unfortunately, except for the moment of genius where I thought up the Scientologist Pirate, there hasn't been much time or inspiration. The law library isn't exactly a mecca for creativity. In fact, it crushes my will to live and makes me want to die sometimes.

Today I studied for civil procedure. That class makes me want to gouge my eyes out. Out of hte five or six practice problems our group did, I answered maybe one right. And the thing that kills me is that the exam is multiple choice. You'd think that makes it easier, right? Wrong! Sucker! According to people who have had this class before, a good 8 out of 40 will get you a solid B. I'm going to drink heavily the night before the exam and that'll probably increase my test-taking skills.

So taking a night off to watch TV and eat ice cream is the best I got now.

Lizett's hero of the week

So back in undergrad, the tones had their Baritone Hero of the Week, which was more like the Baritone Hero of Whenever We Feel Like Updating Our Website. I have been yearning to search for a place to show my respects to some special people, so I'd like to post my own Hero of the Week.

This week's hero is the Scientologist Pirate. His teeth are always clenched tight, he jumps on couches, and refuses antidepressants to get him out of his perpetual state of insanity. I hear they can also crush beer cans on their heads. Just imagine it... crooked-teethed, hook-handed, anti-depressant-hating, eye-patched lunatics jumping on sofas. I'm pretty sure they could kick a Rastafarian pirate's ass. AND they have crystals.

So here's to you, Scientologist Pirate. You are friends with Tom Cruise... and that's a score against you, but we love you anyway.

I still love you, Bluth Family

DEPRESSING DEVELOPMENT: Fox all but confirmed late Thursday that Arrested Development has been canceled. Not only is the show being pulled off the air until Dec. 5, but Arrested's third-season order has been slashed from 22 episodes to just 13. (Arrested's Monday-night companion Kitchen Confidential is also cooked.) And how's this for stomach-churning irony: The Bluths got the hook the same day that ABC extended a full-season order to Freddie.

The UPS guys are still in shorts

The apocalypse is coming, my friends. How do I know this? Today is November 9, and the high was 89 degrees, with no sign of it getting any cooler. Sure, it's been a little cooler before when random rebel cold fronts have come through, but generally it has been amazing weather here. I honestly don't remember if it was always this nice in November or if I'm just making a big deal out of it because I've been in the frozen tundra for the past four winters, but it is glorious. I almost went swimming yesterday because it was so hot out. I didn't, but I could've if I wanted to!

And to relate this all to the heading, I saw a UPS guy today still wearing his trusty brown shorts. I gotta say, I love Texas in November

So, come here often?

That's right my friends, I actually heard that comment come from a male's mouth this Saturday night in a pick-up attempt. The only thing more ridiculous, as we all know, is "What's your sign?" I know men do some crazy things to attempt to get in a girl's pants, but this is ridiculous.

I'm a little dissapointed at the lack of comments on my previous post. I couldn't have handed you better material than "A ten day salute to sausage". It was actually a really great time. I went to Wurstfest with Sheila and her mother. This is way bigger than I originally imagined. Tons of booths full of all different kinds of sausage, including something called the ultimate sausage on a stick - five different kinds of sausage and a bun on a kabob stick. I decided to stick to the cheddarwurst and some PaulAner, which hit me pretty hard (maybe it's because it was 11 am?). Tim showed up around 1 or 1:30, after the ferris wheel riding but just in time to see the polka band, yodelers and clogging. We made it back to Austin around 5:30, just in time for me to get showered up and head off to see Movin' Out. Turns out they screwed up my tickets, so they ended up just giving me tickets in the seventh row back and right smack in the middle. You could see the sweat dripping off the dancers (which can be great, or just kind of creepy).

So anyway after the show Della and I went down to Fado on 4th street. Fado is a really sweet Irish pub with a rooftop patio that I guess is supposed to look like an Irish alley? We were up there listening to this Irish-punk type band - reminded me a lot of Flogging Molly, but they played a lot of Johnny Cash. It is here where I heard the aforementioned pick-up line. That's when Della and I knew we had to get out of there.

The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful, but Saturday's adventures were enough for me.

Wurst-fest

Last night I went to Alamo Draft House to go see North Country. This whole event was actually my idea, and it was cleverly executed by my friend Sheila, who actually has connections, such as "knowing" who the people in charge are and being able to "get in contact" with them. The Women's Law Caucus paid for our movie tickets + food + drinks. So I got a free ticket + free personal pizza + splitting a bucket of Rolling Rock. Delicious. The movie itself was really good, but of course slightly disturbing because it's about women getting sexually harrassed in some sort of mine in Minnesota, so there are the requisite "Look how bad guys are to women" scenes. Then I came home and read a chapter of sexual assault cases for crim law. Pretty much the most depressing night ever.

This weekend, however, is looking up. Tomorrow is some thing called Wurst-Fest. Basically, Sheila's husband Tim is in a bike race from Austin to New Braunfels and we're going to pick him up and attend some sort of festival that involves brats and German beer, and perhaps some clogging. We're a little unclear on the details. In case you haven't noticed, I don't go anywhere unless it involves beer or food, and preferably both.

Lee Corso is a penis

Yeah, I'm sure all of you have already seen it because everyone who reads my blog probably also reads Mal's, but here it is:
You're right, my friend. Lee Corso is a penis.

Anyway, this week has been fairly uneventful. People are starting to get all riled up about getting ready for finals - and they're a little more than six weeks away. Calm down, people. Your constant jabbering and nervous twitching is making me uneasy. I don't want to freak out about finals. I really don't. So please stop freaking out. Tomorrow the Women's Law Caucus is paying for our tickets to go see North Country. All I can say is, thumbs up for free movie tickets. And since it's at Alamo Draft House, it also means thumbs up for free food. And free beer. Oose?

If anyone cares to fill in the details, please let me know

Today I laughed out loud in Contracts, and not because I was IM'ing people, but because I looked around the room at one point and every single person had this look of utter confusion on their faces. I also nearly ate it about five times walking aound slick tile while wearing flip-flops. I mean, who puts slick tile outdoors?!


Anyway, some of you may have heard rumors or passing bits of this weekend, so here's the rundown.

Friday was Ex Parte, the annual law school Halloween party. Our section had a big "law enforcement" theme, so each of us tried to get a different aspect of the law enforcers. In case you can't tell from the picture, I went as a CSI. One guy from our section dressed up as an Orkin man. Not original, right? Wrong. He had a sprayer full of tequila and Sprite. Not the best combination, but quite hilarious to drink out of and tequila usually is always a good shot choice. Anyway, so we get to Ex Parte and there are a good amount of people there. There were some pretty creative costumes, but we definitely should have won best group - I think there were flaws in the nomination system. After a help-yourself beer bar and several shots of Orkin/tequila, I somehow made it home. I definitely was still drunk when I woke up the next day to get to my flight. I think I was just hungover by the time my dad and brother picked me up.

As a result of Ex Parte, I have some crazy injuries. Huge bruises on each of my thighs, some sort of giant cut on the back of my leg, and a bruise on my back. Also, my cash is totally gone (I'm assuming to pay the cab). The last half-hour or so and most of the way back to my place is a little fuzzy, so if anyone cares to fill me in, I'd appreciate it.

I did some sleeping and some studying at home, and then I went to dinner and - surprise! My cousins, aunt, and grandma were in town from Mexico. Now, I love this part of my family so I was really excited to see them. As usual we stayed up ridiculously late talking. The next day was the performance of Wicked - I've been looking forward to this for so long. It was definitely worth it. The acting was good but not great, and the special effects were amazing. The story is hilarious and I just had a great time.

I'm sure it would have been lots of fun to skip out on all that at the last minute so Mal could come in, but I would have been useless on Saturday. I still had a headache when I went to bed Saturday night.

Finally, tonight is Halloween - we bought a little bag of mini Snickers just in case some trick-or-treaters come, but really, we know there aren't any coming and will be eating them all within a few days.

Okay, I'll shut up about baseball now

Wow, I had no idea everyone else despised baseball so much. But the good news for all of you is that I will be shutting up about baseball now, at least until next season.

I had my audition yesterday for Assault and Flattery, the law school musical/skit show they put on every spring. Despite the lack of voice still from the USC game (yeah, it still isn't all there) it went pretty well. We'll hear about callbacks soon, but I figure either way they'll want to use me for my tech skills, which, surprisingly*, there is a major lack of in law school.

Tonight is the law school Halloween party, Ex Parte. This year's theme is Leave Your Briefs at Home. I initially wanted to go as a pirate to introduce that whole line of joking with my law school friends, but a bunch of people from my mentor group are doing a 'law enforcement' theme, so I decided to go with a CSI. I got a t-shirt and ironed on CSI on the front and the back and got a cop kit and a fake rubber heart and rubber gloves. Hopefully we'll get a best group prize or something. Anyway, should be good. Unlimited beer, wine, and margaritas. Mmmmmm.

World Series

Okay, here's my list of what is wrong with the World Series -

1) The announcers - Fox announcers are probably the worst in history and should probably die. Half the time they're trying to promote some 2-hour Prison Break event and the other half of the time they're commenting on some baby that fell asleep in the stands. Ha! Look at that baby! He's asleep! Oh no, it's ten minutes later and the baby's awake! Wow! Oh, and while we were talking about the baby, the team that was behind made the greatest play in the universe and won the game.

2) The Sox fans - Now, this is not necessarily aimed at those "true" White Sox fans out there. And trust me, I know who you are - you've made it quite clear in the past. I'm talking about the 95% of people at Comiskey during games 1 and 2 who are actually Cubs fans but are pretending to be Sox fans since they're in the World Series. Also, during game 2, some beligerent fan slapped Craig Biggio's wife and took off. Biggio's brother took him down and pinned him against the wall. Take that, guy who has no self-control!

3) The sports writers - Everbody was saying how the White Sox were going to beat the Astros with one hand tied behind their back and blindfolded. And granted, the Sox did win four straight games, but it's not like they won them easily. Each game was won by two points or less and one went into 14 innings. Doesn't sound too easy to me.

Anyway, that's my rant. For those of you who don't like baseball, I don't care. Baseball is a great game to have on in the background and I love it.

Game 3

So tonight I thought I was going to get to bed early. I just needed to watch the Astros game. The 9th inning came and went around 10:30. It's now 1:07 am and I'm still watching. I have many complaints about this World Series which I will go into more detail later when I'm not delerious from sleep deprivation.

God, I hate the Sox.

It's my birthday, I'm getting drunk

Thanks for all the birthday wishes on Sunday! The good thing about facebook is that it reminds everyone that it's your birthday so you get tons of birthday wishes without being all showy about it. It's only Tuesday and I'm already relieved because I feel the week is almost over. Really, four hours of class (including civ pro) is too much for one day.

So this weekend was pretty good. I went home Friday night, watched some Law and Order: CI with my mom. I say: major thumbs up for getting rid of Vincent D'Onofrio and that stupid girl. He really got on my nerves and she was always made to look like an idiot. Now they have Chris Noth back on L&O, which is cool and the girl is not a total pushover. Makes the show about ten times better.

Saturday I went shopping with my Mom (huge surprise there) and got some great shoes for cheap, and Sarah and Sonal came over to watch the Astros game. It was a lot of fun, we got a mountain of wings (mmmm, wings!) and just caught up. Sunday was my birthday, and I went to lunch with my parents and got some pretty good presents. The lineup:

• The new Sarah Jessica Parker perfume. I'm afraid to use it.
• Pearl earrings and necklace combo (such a parent present)
• Arrested Development Season 2 (booya!)
• Batman Begins (Double booya!)
• Kanye West's new album

I don't know about you guys, but 22 was so anticlimactic compared to 21. Granted, 21 was on a Saturday night at Notre Dame, not a Sunday in Houston. But then I went to see a Second City show at the PAC, went out Finnigan's/The Library (depending what year you graduated) and... whatever bar we went to after that since Jenna almost came to blows with some guy for saying she didn't go to Notre Dame or some other thing I can't remember... and the next night we went to Bruno's for dinner and Fiddler's Hearth for drinks. So really, you can't top that. Oh, and I got a call from Mr. Belding - yeah, any birthday after that one is just downhill.

So what's with all the crazy amount of posting in our little circle of blogs last week? I loved it. It's the epitome of what our blogs should be. And it gives me things to read in class while attempting to not laugh out loud.

Finally!

The Astros are in the World Series for the first time ever! My head is going to explode!

Sweet jism (and by that, I mean, CJ's pub burger-delicious belly-rubbing jism).

If we win the World Series, then Notre Dame is definitely going to win the national championship. I've been waiting for the Astros championship since I was about 5 years old, back when they played in the Astrodome and the mascot was the Astro, who had a very strong resemblance to the Capital City Goofball. The Notre Dame national championship, while fresher in my mind, is closer to my heart. But the team I've been backing all my life has to win at some point. God, I love baseball season.

And now, a haiku to Peter Hagerman:

Peter Hagerman
Your name is Fro, but you're bald
Super sweet beer time.

Fall TV preview

I enjoy TV way too much. Probably more than is healthy for any individual. And this year, with my no-band schedule and my own TV with basic cable I have... well, not copious amounts of time, but certainly the opportunity to keep up with all my favorite shows and even aquire some new faves. Here are my picks for a great fall season:

1. How I Met Your Mother (Mondays, CBS) - Started out kind of weak, but after a few episodes, I've really gotten into this show. I feel like it pretty much articulates what a lot of my friends and I are going through - this weird mid-twenties phase where you're not quite a grown-up but out of your parents' shadow. The characters are relatable, and my favorite is Barney, played by Neil Patrick Harris of Doogie Howser fame (or Harold and Kumar fame). One of my favorite lines is after he says something and then when the others look at him confused, he says "You really don't read my blog, do you?" Also, when they're in a club, Ted the main character starts screaming crazy stuff to see if his date can hear him, and during a lull in the songs screams out, "I'm peeing my pants!" If that doesn't describe what my friends and I say every single day (see, Goat's blog), then I don't know what does.
   
2. Nip/Tuck (Tuesdays, F/X) - Holy crap. One of the raciest and most addicting shows I have ever seen. The story lines are so intricate and crazy plot twists abound. For example, this Tuesday the cops thought that Christian was the Carver and arrested him, only to have the Carver strike while he was in jail. Every show ending is a complete poop-in-the-pants twist. I love it.
3. My Name is Earl (Tuesdays, NBC) - Jason Lee, of Kevin Smith movie fame, finally has his own show where he plays... a redneck? A little contrary to every cool character he's ever played, but still quite funny. Not much to it, but it's a definite laugh and it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like that time I ate insulation.
4. Arrested Development (Mondays, Fox) - Currently on hiatus until baseball season ends, Arrested Development is one of the most perfectly written shows ever. With Season 2 just recently released and Season 3 gearing up, it's sure to be a great season. If Fox doesn't keep threatening to cancel it.
5. Law and Order: SVU (Tuesdays, NBC) - Oh no, Elliot's rage problem is out of control. And Olivia feels even more for the victims of rape. Tune in to see Elliot flip out and Olivia cry even more.

Welp, that's it for now. If you watch any less than 8 hours of TV a day, this is a good start. I, however, pretty much have my TV on constantly. I really do have friends, I swear....

An open letter to Brad Lidge, closer for the Houston Astros

Dear Brad Lidge,

You did a fairly good job last night in your game against the Astros. You are widely considered one of the best closers in the National League. Your stats are impeccable. You were one out away from sending the Astros to the World Series for the first time ever. But suddently, there was a slight shift in the atmosphere of the game. Edmonds came up to bat, and instead of sending him home crying, you walked him. WALKED HIM. With who else but Albert Pujols up next. The Astros are up 4-2 at this point - the game which was supposedly in the bag is now eerily tense. And what happens? Pujols hits a home run to left field. Putting the Cardinals up 5-4. That's it. The game's over. What happened, Brad? You, of all people, could have put an amazing ending to a great game begun by Andy Pettite. But now you have to go back to St. Louis (the Astros have their own problems winning on the road) and try to win against their crowd. Why? Was one devestating loss by your alma mater on Saturday agasint a much-hated team not enough? Is winning big in a series just too easy for you? Why would you put your fans through the same thing you clearly felt on Saturday when Notre Dame lost at the last minute against the Trojans? For Houston's sake, for Notre Dame's sake, for the Notre Dame Houstonian's sakes, please win big on Wednesday. Two crushing losses are enough for one fan.

The picture says it all

And then I found out she was a guy

Best ending to an awkward story ever. None of this "I found $20" crap. Let me just begin by saying I'm a little dissapointed in the fact that of all those people's blogs that I compulsively check, very few have updated yet. Come on, some of us out here need entertainment.

I got back to my apartment around 11:30pm last night. I very nearly forgot to turn in a paper that I was supposed to write, but somehow remembered right before walking out my door at 7:30 that it was due at 8:00am. Holy crap. I nearly had an anyeurism. Speaking of anyeurisms, I said the phrase "I'm having an anyeurism" about 200 times during the football game on Saturday. Here it is, a wrapup of the weekend:

Friday night

After going to class in the morning, I head to the airport. First of all, I must say I am really surprised that Austin-Bergstrom Airport has a Saltlick Barbecue and Amy's Ice Creams. I think I may start scheduling flights out of Austin more often. Around 5:15, I board the plane and realize... it's a mini-jet with two seats on each side. People are forced to put some carry-on baggage under the plane. Normally, I wouldn't mind too much but the flight to Chicago is two and a half hours long, not some twenty minute flight. When we arrived at Chicago, I was excited because we were a little early, which in my mind = getting to Notre Dame faster. However, we proceeded to sit at the tarmac for 45 minutes because for some reason there was a plane at our gate. Uggggh. Thankfully, while I was waiting, I got to talk to the old Swedish man next to me who in the course of conversatoin asked me if I had any kids. I involuntarily laughed in his face, then tried to make it seem like I was not mocking him by keeping up the polite conversation. Once I finally got out of the airplane, I met up with Nips and had a pretty good drive into South Bend. After some driving moves of questionable legality, we finally made it onto the Skyway. An estimated 10:00 arrival time ended up being more around midnight after all the delays and actually grabbing dinner. Despite the exhaustion, we managed to go out to Legends with Miguel and Philip and rested up for the game the next day.

Saturday

Holy crap, not having to get up for band is so glorious. You just sleeeep and sleep. Granted, I actually did not sleep in that much, but you have the option! Mothball's tailgate was a good time, and I met up with tons of alums I hadn't seen in a while. When Mothball and Vnak were told by the cops protecting USC that they were going to jail if they messed with the band, I couldn't help but think, "Ah, the circle of life." We made it to Concert on the Steps and stepoff, something I was looking forward to immensely. At this point, my voice was still there but hurting for sure. In my drunken haze, I was not being very effective at communicating the hilarity of jokes and witticisms I had so carefully prepared. Thank goodness Vnak saved the day by shushing me and then yelling "Does anyone else think Lizett looks like Bill Cosby??" If I had been more lucid, I would have ripped into some Jell-o Pudding jokes.

Our tickets were in the end zone behind the band, right next to the entrance ramp and with easy access to the bathroom and concession stand. Couldn't ask for a better strategic location. I screamed my head off the whole game, which led to the lack-of-voice-ness. During the first part of the game, I jokingly did the Disney World Happy Dance for joy of being at the game, which later turned into the Anxiety Dance of Franticness. It got pretty bad in the last quarter or so where I was just rocking back and forth, holding my head in hopes it didn't explode. The outcome was... dissapointing. But for 10 euphric seconds, we had beat USC. It makes the defeat that much worse. I hate you Pete Carroll. I hope Regis Philbin burns down USC.

The post-game celebration was a little less lively as expected, but still a fairly good time despite the fact that we went to Bookmakers which smelled like an odd combination of an ashtray and feet and Oscars, which was actually much better than expected despite the presence of middle aged lesbians hitting on me. It was really great to just hang out with my friends again, falling back into the same dynamics as if we hadn't left.

Sunday

Almost as nice as Saturday. The luxury of a late flight meant I got to go to the bookstore, Nick's Patio for breakfast and hang out with my friends and walk around campus for quite a while. Walking around campus was great - it was a beautiful day, and the ND crazy-effective workers had returned campus to its pristine condition. The flight back to Austin was also in a tiny jet, and even better than the return trip because I sat further back and there was a crying baby in front of me. The mom kept trying to show her the Baby Irish DVD - for those of you who haven't heard of these, they make Baby Einstein-type DVDs for college teams now in order to indoctrinate kids even more than their ND parents do already. It didn't really seem to work for quieting a 2-year-old.

In conclusion, today was rough to get to class and stay awake all day. If any of you see Matt Leinart hanging out with Nick Lachey, be sure to kick both in the balls for me.

I'll put some pep in your rally

So, rumored to be at the pep rally (which I won't be going to) are:

Rudy Rutteiger
Bruce Springsteen
Bon Jovi
Joe Montana
Jesus Christ himself

The hype for this game is unbelievable. I should've known that Friday classes mean jack and just left Thursday night or early Friday. Oh well, it looks like it's shaping up to be a pretty exciting weekend anyway. Rock on.

Get Nasty

Holy crap, only 3 days until Notre Dame takes on USC and I will be there to witness the glory. Oh, the glory. For 72 glorious hours, I will forget all about law school and unleash the fury onto USC and my liver. Oh, you just wait.

Things have been going pretty well. Law school is actually starting to become pretty time-consuming seeing as our profs are going through more than one or two cases per day. Damn you. And we have to start our outlines soon. I, for one, have done zero outlining while some of my more "ambitious" or "uptight" classmates have been working on them since the second week of classes. Hmm. I'm sure it'll somehow magically work out for me. Why wouldn't it?

My mom came up to visit last weekend. It was a pretty good time, the highlight of it being outlet shopping in San Marcos. I ended up buying two suits... my first two ever. I'm officially a grown-up! Now all I need is a job. I'm assuming that the first interview I walk into, they'll be so blown away by the awesomeness of my power suit and they'll immediately bow at my feet (or perhaps at my awesome new shoes) and offer me a super-fantastic job. To a first year. That pays a lot. It could happen!! Okay, it probably won't, but my chic new suits will probably at least keep me off the streets, make me look presentable.

Anyway, most of this week is just getting ready for my big trip to Notre Dame. My head will explode if we win, and even if we don't, my liver sure will. I'm already getting some good law school jokes to yell at Philip in a drunken stupor. In any case, it will be a smart, tough, nasty wekeend. Oose. Go Irish.

October

October promises to be a big, important month. First of all, it marks one month into my law school career, which means I didn't die within the first few weeks. Hopefully this is a good signal for the rest of the year. Second, (sequentially, not in importance) is the Notre Dame-USC game. This will be my first home game not in the band which will only mean debauchery and hilarity in the best way. At this time, Miguel and all my young'un friends will be 21, so we can go out in style in South Bend the way no one else can. Also, it promises to be a very close and important game in the season. People probably say that every game, but with the combination of Notre Dame-ruining power and this-season-winning power we may just be unstoppable. (For those unfamiliar with the Notre Dame-ruining, see: Every Ranked Team Last Year). And thirdly, on the 23rd it is time for the big 2-2 (or "22" as some people call it). This is it. 21 is an exciting birthday, but what's 22? Nothing. The only thing I have to look forward to now is 30, and that's a bad thing. But for now, it's time to live it up like a 21-year-old.

Irishizzle

Gizoogle.com apparantly translates many things. Here for your amusement, courtesy of micvat, is the Notre Dame Fight Song:

R-A-Double-Lizzy sons of Notre Dame
Spendin' her glory, n sound her fame
Raise her Gold n Blue,
And rappa wit voices true,
Rah! Rah! For Notre Dame.

We will fight in every game
Strong of heart n tizzle ta her name.
We wiznill neer forget her
And wizzay pusha her eva,
Loyal ta Notre Dame.

Chorus:
Chea, drug deala fo` Old Notre Dame
Wakes up tha echoes ridin' her name,
Send tha volley poser on high,
Shakes D-to-tha-izzown tha thunda frizzay tha sky,
What though tha odds be bootylicious or small
Old Notre Dizzle W-to-tha-izzill win over all,
While her loyal sons is marching
Onward ta Victory . Holla!.

Pure genius. Memorize it, for I will be singing it every gameday from now until eternity.

Let the drinking commence!

It's Friday and there have been an extraordinary amount of alcohol-related events this week, so I thought I'd give you guys a little update.

Tuesday night the Chicano-Hispanic Law Student Association had a mixer with the Hispanic Bar Association. Part of something that CHLSA does is set up law students (I think mostly first years) with lawyers to "mentor", whatever that means. I met my mentor there, and he seems like a really cool guy. His name is Jesus and I believe he is a partner in an oil and gas firm. I think what we're going to do is to have me follow him around some day and go to discovery or a depostition to see what it's like. It's unclear what we're actually supposed to be doing with each other, other than drinking at mixers. I also met this really fun, sweet woman named Gloria, who gave me her business card and said to let her know if I needed anything.

Thursday night, we had an event with the Women's Law Caucus called Wine About Law School. It was held at this bar called Speakeasy in the Warehouse District, which is as trendy and tries as hard to be cool as it sounds. The bar itself was very cool, and there were some women lawyers there. I ran into Gloria there too, and we started talking about law school, etc. and she gave me the advice to just have a good time my first year and not get too caught up in a relationship when I really should be meeting people. At some point during this conversation, she said "You know, you really just need to fuck around, have a good time. I did, and I wish I had done it more." I tried to keep a very straight face, but I don't know how well it came off. A short while later, I excused myself in slight disbelief and got another drink... because I needed it.

Later on that night was Bar Review #2 for the year, held at Six, on 4th street (I believe). It was a pretty good time, and I may or may not have called Nips at 2:30 in the morning to tell him that nobody cares about Minnesota football. Only his voicemail holds the answer.

Also, I was called on today in Criminal Law. It figures that the time that I only read the case once and on the bus on the way home and show up practically hungover that I get called on. Other than a few technicalities, I got most of it right though, it wasn't too horrible of an experience. But right as I got called on, both Bryce and Philip started IM'ing me. In my panic, I couldn't respond and was afraid that somehow the prof would know that I had little IM windows on my screen and punish me for that too.

As for this weekend, I think I just need to sleep. And I got Crash on DVD today, so I will probably watch that at some point - and all of you should too. And then go hug a black person. And a person of every race in the world.

Rita is a ho

First of all, let me say that the main reason I haven't updated is because unless you are in law school, most of the stuff I'm doing is totally uninteresting. In fact, it's probably still uninteresting. Law-school semi-fun stuff I've done has mostly had to do with mentor group activities. Last Friday we had Race Judicata, or Society Olympics. The best competition was probably the Tug of War. I competed in the bat spin relay, and we came in second in that, but ultimately the McKormick Society came out victorious. At least we got to run around in 100-degree heat. Oh God, it's so miserable right now. It was 104 today and it's supposed to be hotter tomorrow - how is this even possible? This weekend we're supposed to have a "cool front" where it might dip down to the 80s.

The first Bar Review of the year was this Thursday, which was a lot of fun. For those of you who don't know, Bar Review is not quite reviewing for the Bar Exam - the Student Bar Association scouts out bars and convinces them to give us drink specials on Thursday nights. We went to Blind Pig on 6th and then to Red Fez for a little while. Let me tell ya - there are a lot of sketch people around. But as long as you have a few token males to ward off the super-creeps, it's not too bad. At the chill places like Blind Pig, it's cool, but at Red Fez, which is more of a dance club, watch out. I also had my first high school sighting at a bar on Saturday night, which was pretty funny.

In other recent news, yes, my family evacuated Houston in the imminent doom of Hurricane Rita. We live in the northwest part of the city, but they didn't want to risk it. My parents left Thursday morning at 4 am, and didn't get into Austin until 3:30 pm. Let me remind you that the drive to Austin is usually 2 and a half hours - not 11 and a half. They made it in okay, though and thankfully the hurricane went down in intensity and pretty much side-tracked Houston. Part of our fence got blown down, but that's it. My parents stayed with friends here in Austin, which meant I got all the privledges of having my paernts in town without the inconveniences of having them stay with me. Lots of good meals out, a fridge stocked with food, and car usage for several days? Me gusta. They finally got back today.

Finally, last night's episode of Arrested Development was probably the craziest and most non-sensical episode ever. However, I was pretty excited about the family-wide chicken dancing. It never gets old! I love it. I can't wait until next week for some Scott Baio and Charlize Theron action on Arrested Development. They have the best guest stars ever on the show. I thought they couldn't top Carl Weathers. But Chachi? Brilliant.

Only 2 and a half weeks until I head to Notre Dame for the ND-USC game!

Nerd!

Yeah, I'm a nerd:

YOU ARE RULE 20(a)!

You are Rule 20, an important part of the Federal
Rules' policy of permissive joinder. You are
designed specifically to allow as many parties
in an action as can be tried efficiently, and
you'll include someone as long as there is some
factual overlap between a claim involving them
and the rest of the case at hand. You are
popular, out-going, and are never far from
friends. However, your overly gregarious
nature and magnanimous approach do make things
a bit crowded--you're the reason that lawsuits
are often cluttered with innumerable parties
and even more numberous claims for relief.
Still, despite the crowds that you attract, you
can't argue with the efficiency of getting
everything done at once!


Which Federal Rule of Civil Procedure Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Law school = high school

I've found a lot of similarities between high school and this institution of higher learning that supposedly is preparing us to be the leaders of the free world. According to all the orientation seminars, we'll basically be running the country in three short years.

Anyway, one of the main similarities to high school is the reintroduction of lockers. Now don't get me wrong, without my locker I would be carrying a combined 50 lbs of books every day back and forth from here and home, but it definitely makes you feel like you're back in the good old days of hanging out by the lockers and figuring out which locker your crush has and just happening to hang out near it because your friend Sheila's locker is there. For someone who is supposed to be intellectually superior than the rest of you puny minds out there (or so we were told at orientation), I had the hardest time with my combination lock. Not only are the lockers a little condescending, I also bring my lunch every day. In a lunchbox! Right now our cafeteria/lounge is being remodeled, so it's either that or spend way too much on some stale sandwich from a poser coffee shop on the corner near the law school. Needless to say, I feel super cool carrying my big red lunchbox around campus.

Secondly, I take the bus to school. If that doesn't drudge up bad memories of people demanding that the bus driver put the radio on the hip-hop station and random knife-fights, I don't know what does.

Finally, the cliques here are probably even worse than in high school. Except in high school, your clique was based on a) how cool you were or b) what activities you were in. Here, it's just based on what section you happened to be placed in. I met a girl here in April over Prospective Students' Weekend, and we wanted to meet up sometime. After 3 weeks here, I finally ran into her on Wednesday. If you're not in the same classes as someone, you literally never see them.

There are some major exceptions, of course. For example, right now, I'm heading to my Contracts professor's house for a keg party. Drinking before 5pm with a professor? I like it.

The free stuff

As anyone who has applied to law school knows, there are lots of fees involved. And trust me, it doesn't get any cheaper when you start law school. Want to join the Women's Law Caucus? That'll be $35. How about the Intellectual Property Law journal? That'll be another $30.

However, there are some perks. As of now, I've received 2 Nalgene bottles, 3 coffee mugs, 6 days' worth of free breakfasts, and at least six social events with free alcohol.

In other news, I want a foosball table. Maybe the law school will pay for that too.

Our Contracts professor invited us over to his house on Thursday for a keg party. That's right, a keg party. Basically the point of law school is to get us to study hard, and drink lots of alcohol from complimentary Westlaw and Lexis mugs. Not too shabby.

Too soon?

Yes, I know it is definitely too soon to be making hurricane jokes. But, The Onion beat me to it, and this short article is pretty funny in its startingly accurate account of Houston (except the food really does rock).

Refugees Moved From Sewage-Contaminated Superdome To Hellhole Of Houston

HOUSTON—Evacuees from the overheated, filth-encrusted wreckage of the New Orleans Superdome were bussed to the humid, 110-degree August heat and polluted air of Houston last week, in a move that many are resisting. "Please, God, not Houston. Anyplace but Houston," said one woman, taking shelter under an overpass. "The food there is awful, and the weather is miserable. And the traffic—it's like some engineer was making a sick joke." Authorities apologized for transporting survivors to a city "barely better in any respect," but said the blistering-hot, oil-soaked Texas city was in fact slightly better, and that casualties due to gunfire would be no worse.

I still want my black shirt back. Jerks.

We get national holidays off??

That is so foreign to me. I'm in Houston, enjoying the Labor Day weekend and putting off all the tons of reading I have to do for next week. Last night, I met up with Dixie, who is in Houston for a while after getting the hell out of New Orleans. We watched the ND-Pitt game at Champps with the alumni club of Houston, so it was great to get to see her and see a very solid Irish victory.

She tells me that, as I suspected, I left a black, stretchy Gap t-shirt in Florida and someone has it. To you, I say, quit holding my t-shirt ransom. I want it back. I have never even worn it.

I think I need to make up for all the sleep I'm not going to get all semester this weekend. So... zzzzzzzzzz....

Law school'd

Well, it certainly has been an interesting first few days. I just finished my first day of law school! I'm on my way to being a lawyer! I have no idea what I'm doing!

The University of Texas actually uses this picture to promote their law library. Awesome.

This Saturday was the first get-together for our first year mentor group. In most law schools, the first year is divided into sections that take all the same classes. Because UT is such a large law school, they break up the sections into two societies and each society into two mentor groups, so we finally end up with a group of about 30 people that we'll see every day for the rest of our lives (or so it seems). Not surprisingly, each mentor group has a second year mentor, and we had out party on Saturday at our mentor, Danny's, house. Burgers, hot dogs, beer and 100-degree-plus heat. What more could you ask for? The party was good in the sense that we got to meet people before the first day of orientation.

Orientation, Day 1:
We go to the law school bright and early for probably the best breakfast spread I've ever seen and to pick up our orientation packets. After awkwardly mingling for 20 minutes or so, we head on over to the LBJ auditorium for a few hours' worth of professors and alumni about how great it is to be at UT, how great our professors are, how smart we are, etc. After free pizza for lunch in our mentor group, we had a career services presentation and - get this - we are basically guaranteed to pass and guaranteed to get a job after graduation. Sweet! As they kept telling us, Monday marked the first day of our legal career. So what do we do? After a BBQ dinner provided to us with free beer (!), we all went out and got drunk at Buffalo Billiards and played pool and darts. This is the future of our country.

Orientation, Day 2:
A few more speeches about how great we all are, that lawyers are not horrible people, despite the jokes and popular perception. According to a Gallup poll from last December, lawyers rank 18th in terms of people's perceptions of honorable and ethical careers, just barely above Congressmen and used car salesmen. In Russia, on the other hand, a recent poll of high school students shows that lawyers are considered the second most honorable profession, behind accountants. They also ranked contract killers and racketeering 16th out of 38. This was only technically half a day, so I managed to get home in time for Dr. Phil (very important).

Today:
First day of school! Today is a late day, so I didn't get up until around 9 (God, I would never wake up that early in undergrad), went to Criminal Law, had lunch and went to Contracts. Both professors seem good and nothing too hard for today. The work isn't too bad... yet. We'll talk in about a week.

The funny thing about law school is that everyone is very anxious to make time to blow off steam. Tomorrow, we have a society-sponsored happy hour at Scholz's Beer Garden, next Tuesday we have a boat party with free booze, and next Thursday is the Student Bar Association back to school party with free beer at Buffalo Billiards. I'm thinking with enough booze flowing in, it won't be too bad a year.

Austin for good!

As I write this, it is Sunday night, my parents are gone, and I am officially moved in to Austin! Tomorrow marks the first day of orientation for law school, which means getting up before noon. I don't know if I can handle this schedule.

Last night, we had a little "getting to know everyone in your first year section" party, hosted by our second year mentor. It was pretty good, and most of the people seem pretty nice and outgoing. There were the requisite hot dogs, burgers, and beer, and it would have been much more enjoyable had the temperature been under 90 degrees last evening. I would say the vast majority of people in my section are either from Houston or Dallas, so it's a bit of a change from ND. There's actually another Notre Dame kid in my section who also graduated 2005, but I had never met him before or even knew who it was. It was really funny because all night people were like, "Hey, Notre Dame, there's another guy here who went there!" It at least provided a good out for awkward conversations. "Oh, really? Well, I guess I should go find him."

Most of the first years are between 22 and 26, I think, but there are a few random 30- to 35-year-old people. I feel like I have absolutely nothing to talk about with them. At least that's how I feel right now. Maybe in a few weeks when we're all seeped in class-type stuff, we'll at least talk about that sort of thing.

It turns out that I can't illegaly connect my cable internet to my TV to get basic cable, so I guess I have to call Time Warner and "pay" for the service. Damn. For now I'm keeping myself entertained with the DVDs I brought. Which I've seen about 10 times each. Oh well, starting tomorrow I probably won't even have time for TV.

The 40-Year-Old Virgin

...is a baritone player. He plays his euphonium around the apartment. Coincidence? I think not.

Kim

Sorry to put a damper on a usually lighthearted/meaningless blog, but this is something I feel I need to write about.

I got my cat Kim as a birthday present when I was 10 years old. My parents took me to the Citizens for Animal Protection near my house and I got to pick her out. Through the years, she's been a great cat, playful but not violently ripping up the furniture and/or people (like some people's cats that I know). She just turned 12 years old last week, and seemed to still be doing really well for an older cat. No worries, until this week. Last week, we took Kim to the vet because they sent us a postcard saying she was due for a physical checkup. As of last Wednesday, she seemed perfectly healthy and even doing very well for a cat her age. This weekend, we noticed that she wasn't eating, so we took her to the vet yesterday. They said early prognosis was dehydration and they wanted to keep her to put her on an IV and rehydrate her, it was probably some sort of kidney infection. Today the vet called and said that her kidneys are failing and is down to less than half of a kidney working properly. They want to continue the fluid treatment, and if her blood test levels (whatever that means) come down to normal in a few days, she might be able to recover relatively well and carry on for a few years. But, if no improvement shows, then the best thing to do would be to put her to sleep. I don't know why I'm so upset about an animal, but the news is incredibly unexpected. I know it seems silly to pray for an animal when so many other things are going on, but I really am praying for her. I am not looking forward to leaving to Austin on Friday.

Spam-tastic

Somehow my comments exploded in popularity. Turns out they were just comment spammers who somehow found my blog. Sorry to have to do this to you faithful commenters (mostly Eliz and Phil), but I'm putting up that "read this word and type it in" thing before you comment to detract the spammers.

In movie reviews, this weekend I went and saw Wedding Crashers and March of the Penguins. I know, I'm a little late on both, but you'll get my opinion anyway. Wedding Crashers was top-notch. Not just good for a Frat Pack movie, but hilarious in its own right. Hopefully I'll find my own Wilson Brothers/Wes Anderson group at Texas and latch on to them for prosperity's sake. I'll be swimming in big sacks of money by the time I'm 35, just like Scrooge McDuck. Quality quoting from this movie.

Secondly, I'd like to comment on March of the Penguins. First of all, I'd like to point to the "article" by Michael Bay on this week's The Onion. Now, on to the movie. It was pretty much what you would expect from a glorified documentary, many amusing shots of penguins being really cute. My complaint is that apparantly penguins die all the time. Pretty much everything they do puts them at risk of imminent death. And I know it's a documentary so it's supposed to be "real" and all, but it's a rated G movie for little kids! Could you not put the dying penguins in so many scenes? Honestly.

Hopefully this week I'll get to 40 Year Old Virgin and Red Eye, so I can report back. This is it, folks, once law school starts next Monday, I'll probably just talk about class. How sad.

Notre Dame, I miss thee

Sunday night I went over to Philip's house to say good-bye. It's pretty weird to think that he's going back along with Katie J and Erin, while I'm still here, waiting for another two weeks for school to start. I am pretty excited that I'll be starting law school, but not heading up to Notre Dame feels very odd to me. Saturday night I got together with Sarah, Sonal and Anglee, and we all agreed that graduating sucks. But, that meeting did help me see that there is life beyond ND and being at home isn't all bad.

I ordered my books online on Sunday. Correction - $600 for four classes - technically three classes and a once a week seminar. Thanks, law school, for putting me into bankruptcy. Once my student loans come through (not for another week or so), I can finally pay off my parents and the tuition and stuff I owe, plus hopefully I can start paying rent and utilities without dipping into my savings account.

In other news , I am very seriously considering going to Notre Dame for the USC game, October 15th. It should be at a time where things aren't too hectic, and the next weekend is my birthday so my parents will probably want me to hang out with them, or some crap like that, so that really looks like the best option. Now I just need tickets and a place to stay! So, to all you out there that read this - start looking. (And, if you don't live in South Bend anymore, but are an alumni that is considering going back for a football game - go back for USC so I can see you!)

As the soundtrack to Avenue Q so eloquently states - "I wish I could go back to college"

Blabbity blah

Once upon a time, a blog used to be a place for incoherent ramblings and the deepest, darkest secrets of one's soul. I think I may be placing too much emphasis on the "what I did today" aspect and less on the "incoherent rambling" aspect, so here you have it, some useless stuff to think about.

1) How come Sam Waterson has stayed on as assistant D.A. for several years on Law and Order, while his female counterpart seems to change like a revolving door of hussies in the New York District Attorney's office? Also, what is Fred Thompson's real job on Law and Order? All I ever see him do is grumble some sage advice for about thirty seconds an episode. If only I could be paid the big bucks for grumbling advice for 30 seconds.

2) The point I wish to make here is more clearly articulated in Michael Ian Black's article for McSweeny's magazine. The only funny person on I Love the 80's other than Hal Sparks has done it again. If you enjoy McSweeny's, you would love A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, by Dave Eggers. It's basically an autobiography of how his parents died when he was in college and how he raised his little brother and started this hilarious magazine and now he's uber-rich. But it's funny and comes with drawings, so I likes it. Anyway, back to the main issue: Have you ever eaten a baby?

3) Have any of you seen those commercials for Pillsbury biscuits where you just use two at a time? In order to come up with this genius idea, the Pillsbury doughboy goes undercover to discover that - suprise! - people tend to pair up. Only, the Pillsbury doughboy's undercover work means spying on couples at their most intimate times. It's really quite disturbing, and I frankly believe that he should be put away for being a peeping tom.

4) Last year, The Onion came out with a review of dollar-store food that caused massive wetting due to laughing. It seems to have become an annual review, and let me tell ya, this year's doesn't dissapoint. Some of the "scariest ingredients" will be with me till I die.

5) My optometrist says that they're discontinuing my brand of contacts. I don't like my new ones.

Computey

I am typing this from my brand new computer, a lappy for law school. It's... uh... a Toshiba... and... it's friggin' sweet is alls I know. Actually, it's a Toshiba Satellite and I'm pretty sure it's more powerful than my desktop. No more being tied down by my giant desktop! I can update from anywhere, suckers!

It's official

Whether I like it or not, I am officially starting law school August 31. Well, technically there's orientation for two days before, but who's counting. Besides me. Who is anxiously counting until that day. I'm signed up for three classes (Civil Procedure, Criminal Law I, and Contracts) and one Legal Research and Legal Writing seminar. Overall, it's not a bad schedule, except my Civil Procedure class is Mondays and Tuesdays from 8:30 to 10:20, so those will probably be brutal.

This weekend, I went to Austin to move furniture and things into my apartment. In the process, I came out with about fifty mosquito bites from moving the washer and dryer (apparantly Austin is now a swamp?) and a number of scrapes and bruises from assembling my desk. Between the almost getting hit by lightening in Houston and the multiple injuries in Austin, I think God is trying to tell me to get out of Texas.

Speaking of getting out of Texas, now that I know I don't have any afternoon classes on Friday, I'm considering going to a football game this season. Anyone know which games they'll be heading to South Bend for? Let me know!

Tejas

What is it about Texas that makes all of its residents so crazy about it? Sure, we're pretty friggin' huge and there's a lot of good, unique things about Texas, but what could it be that makes everyone so maniacally devoted to the Lone Star state?

When I was in high school, I was really into punk and ska for some reason, and when going to see The Suspects, a local ska band, one of the opening bands was Bowling for Soup. Now they're famous for their catchy pop-punk songs, such as the one where they list all those things from 1985. Man, that's hilarious! Anyway, Bowling for Soup has recently added a song to the collection of songs about Texas, and - you guessed it - it lists all sorts of things from Texas. Booya!

Come back to Texas
Its just not the same since you went away
Before you lose your accent
and forget all about the Lone Star State
There's a seat for you at the rodeo
and I've got every slow dance saved
Besides the Mexican food sucks north of here anyway

Troy Aikmen wants you back
Willie Nelson wants you back
NASA wants you back
and the Bush twins want you back
and Pantera wants you back
and Blue Bell wants you back

A little breather

Here it is, folks, the wrap-up from my trip to Washington DC and New York! I don't want to bore you to death, so here are the highlights.

DC
Without a doubt, the International Spy Museum is one of the greatest museums, nay, the greatest attraction in Washington, D.C. It just makes you feel like James Bond. Unfortunately, we were in DC just in time for the Boy Scout's annual Jamboree so there were huge groups of awkward teenagers who knew they looked silly in their Boy Scout uniforms all over the place. Also, Ford's Theatre was pretty cool because I learned that John Wilkes Booth was considered one of the most attractive and best known actors of his time. Sort of like if Johnny Depp were to pop a cap into Dubya. Oh yeah, I went there. Also, the first night we went to an Astros-Nationals game, which was cool because I got to see Roger Clemens pitch. And we creamed the Nationals.

Alas, our time in DC was short, and soon we were off on the sketchy China Town bus to New York. Our first night there, we met up with the infamous Gregory Bonsignore of TAAS: The Musical Revue fame and go to dinner in his neighborhood of Little Italy, followed by the most bizarre dessert idea ever - a shop dedicated purely to rice pudding. You can even order it online by the pound. We think the owners intended to put in an ice cream place, but spent all their money on decorating it like an Apple store, and somehow stumbled across a literal ton of rice in the basement which then led to the rice pudding idea.


The next day was our Yankee Stadium tour. All I can say is: flippin' sweet. We got to go into Monument Park, walk across the field, hang out in the dugout and then go up to the pressbox. AND we got a free key chain! I'm pretty sure I'm sitting where Derek Jeter usually sits. In the following days, we saw Rent on Broadway, which was very good except that the guy who played Mark was hell-bent on being original in his interpretation, and it ended up being the wrong interpretation. But other than him, it was pretty awesome. Times Square, a Yankee game on Thursday, and for the big finale, a trip to the Museum of Television and Radio. It's pretty much the greatest idea in the world for a museum. They have a few special screenings each day, and when we went they had a special on how teenagers are portrayed on television throughout history, and, more importantly, a showing of Are You Afraid of the Dark? The answer to that my friends, is hells yes, it's still pretty scary. The best part, however, is going to the media library and searching from hundreds of episodes of TV they have stored away to select four episodes of any show you want to watch. I picked a Very Special Doogie Howser, M.D. where Doogie loses his virginity. It was... pretty awkward. I also saw an episode of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, the pilot for The Wonder Years and an episode of Degrassi where Spike learns that she's preggers. Just don't tell Anglee I said that because she hates the word preggers.

Alas, the fun in the city had to come to an end. We took the sketchy China Town bus back to DC (never again will I take a China Town bus... anything I write right now would not do justice to the heinousness of the situation). But just trust me on that. And this morning, at an ungodly hour, we were back at Reagan airport - just to give you an idea, we were in Houston by 10am, and we had a stopover.

What's next on the agenda? Apartment shopping, hopefully having a few Tejas falto bashes in Austin before everyone heads out and getting used to being back in the south. Oh, and watching Degrassi every possible moment.

Back in the States

I have just returned from a 3-week vacation to visit family and generally laze around Monterrey, Mexico. In addition to some quality music, including the new Shakira single, which I heard approximately 57,826 times, Mexico has a lot going for it. Like the food. Oh, baby. I'm glad I don't live in Mexico for the sole reason that I would weigh about 400 pounds. Then again, I may be able to shake my bootay, Shakira-style from seeing that video so often.

While seeing such quality movies in theatres like War of the Worlds and Fantastic Four, I also saw some quality movies on TV such as Karate Kid and Bossa Nova. When you have no mode of transportation, you get kind of desperate for entertainment. It looks like we left just in time before Hurricane Emily destroyed Mexico. See ya later, Mexico!

Now I am back in Houston for about 2 days before I head off to Washington, DC and New York City. In some cruel twist of irony, Greg Bonsignore will be in Houston for half of the week that we are in New York. We still get to see him for a couple of days, but COME ON.

After that, it's off to Austin and decorating my apartment! Weeee.

Adios, amigos

Tomorrow my family and I take off on another "vacation" to Mexico, which will as always be one big realtive-fest. My grandmother is throwing my parents a 25th wedding anniversary party, and it will be a Very Big Deal, so up until that is over, I think it will be a very stressful time for me. Because naturally, if my mom is stressed, she expects me to help her out while my brother watches Mexican TV and eats candy like he's eight years old.

Looks like from here on out, I'll be travelling around like crazy.

Mexico dates: June 23 - July 16 or so
Moving in (Austin): July 18-20th-ish
DC/New York: July 22(ish) - August 1(ish)

And sometime after that, I hope to have many visitors in Austin, as it is the setting of this years' Real World and overall the best place in Texas to visit.

Try not to miss me too much when I'm gone, and feel free to e-mail me, since they actually have that intra-net thing at my relatives' house.

Happy Birthday Phil, Father's Day and Juneteenth

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We're the sneakiest sneaks that ever sneaked

Today, my best friend Laurie and I embarked on a shopping adventure. After hitting up the Galleria for some out-of-our-price-range shopping, we went to dinner at a Chili's nearby where we got FREE dessert since they screwed up her order. Afterwards, being the hooligans we are, we went searching for a retail store that was still open after the hour of 9pm. Finding no luck at the Sketchers outlet, we went to Ikea for some decorative baskets Laurie needed. After pulling into a nearly-empty parking lot, we decided to forgo the traditional "entrance" and go in through the exit. Ooooh. The baskets she needed were right by the checkouts, so we got her things and checked out around 9:30, a full half-hour after the store had closed. Those fools didn't even know we snuck in after closing time. We should be international spies. Really.

And thus concluded another crazy night in Houston.

Tae Bo - more like Tae No

Exercising in the summer in Houston is a problem for me. Two summers ago I joined a gym, which was fine, but they kept charging me after my summer was up - not a happy experience, and I'm not even going to be home all this summer. (For those of you who may remember from my previous blog, it was also a breeding ground for old men to stare while I used the leg muscle machines that look inappropriate). A few summers ago, I tried to go running at 8 am, before it got too hot. Needless to say, it's physically impossible to go out "before it's too hot", because even at 8, 7, or 5 am, it's still over 80 degrees with miserable humidity, rendering it impossible to exercise without feeling like a sweaty gym sock and/or passing out. Also, who gets up at 8 am?! The treadmill we have at home is fine, but a little old and boring. So, for fun, I decided to try out one of those Tae-Bo tapes (well, DVDs) that everyone keeps raving about. After all, Kt R likes it and my old RA Liz swore by it. So I pick up a DVD with a very sweaty Billy Blanks on the cover promising an effective cardio workout and all the other magic things Tae Bo promises to give you, such as the ability to fly or kill an attacker with a paper clip. I tried it out the other day, and good lord. I lasted fifteen minutes before the light headedness and passing out started to kick in. I'm hoping to build up, but for now, I hurt too much to move.

In other news, I finally went and saw Star Wars on Saturday. Our friends picked the theatre, and it ended up being on IMAX which was pretty cool, but unnecessarily expensive, in my opinon. The movie itself - well, just as Alex and Stork put it when I asked them how it was, "It was... evil." A little depressing, I suppose, but pretty entertaining. All I know is I'm looking forward to Batman Begins beause I love me some Christian Bale.

Joyful News!

Oh yes, it's joyful news indeed. The first and most important (in my opinion) piece of joyful news is that my favorite TV show currently on the air, Arrested Development, has been renewed for a third full season. In my opinion, Arrested Development is the best show on TV and highly underappreciated. So it makes me do my happy dance to hear that it's being continued. Thanks to Dooz for filling me in on info that I already knew, but had yet to share with you all.

Secondly, and important in the sense that I won't be homeless, is that I found an apartment to live in next year! After a rigorous two-day search around pretty much the entire Austin metropolitan area, I found a super sweet apartment complex in the Far West area that I lurrrrved. It's really spacious and completely remodeled and right by a ton of stuff to do. Wahoo! So, if you ever want to come visit Austin, you'll have a place to stay! And it isn't a cardboard box! There may not be any "furniture" per se, but there will be plenty o' floorspace ;-) So, stage one of me moving to Austin has been finalized, and I get to move in on July 14.

One thing I noticed in my trip to Austin is that every waiter I had, including the IHOP waiters were super friendly and nice. And I mean, it must be a huge struggle for IHOP waiters to be nice because let's face it, they're not expecting any huge tippers. Perhaps everyone is Houston is just crabby. I guess you would be too if it were 100 degrees outside with 100% humidity. Or maybe we're just bad tippers.

Summertime and it feels all right

Well, chilluns, I feel obligated to apologize that I haven't updated my blog in so long. I know many of you, especially now in the summer months that you most of you are working jobs that require little or no work, depend on meaningless things to pass the time such as blogs. And to you, I say... I'm sorry I let you down.

So, just as a sign of how much I let ya down, here's a list of things that have happened since I last updated:
1) Kentucky Derby
2) Senior week
3) Graduation
4) Trip to Disney

All those were well and good. Kentucky Derby was a ridiculous mess of people staying at Stevo's house and getting ridiculously drunk the day of the Derby. I think I may have seen one horse for less than a minute in the entire 6 hours I was there. I did, however, see EVERYONE I KNOW from Notre Dame. It's true. Senior week was exactly like you wish college could be all the time, scheduled drinking and seeing all your friends minus the classes. Graduation was a super busy and anticlimactic weekend. I literally hugged some friends after the ceremony and said, "Well... see ya... never." Trust me, it's way weirder being the graduate than the younger friend of the graduate. After that, it was off to Florida for my first trip ever to Disney World!* Again, lots of fun but so anti-climactic at the end. College has no closure, I've decided.

The day after I got back from Florida was my dad's birthday. I had nothing better to do, so I, with my own BARE HANDS made a cake and even made the frosting from scratch! I am awesome. And no, it didn't kill anyone.

For now, I am trying to stretch out about a week's worth of work into the whole summer. Because let's face it folks, having the summer off is a great deal and all, but after a while... you kinda get bored. Especially since most of your friends don't live in the city. My latest project is Clean Sweeping my room, TLC style. Except they get a whole team of experts to go through their junk for them, and pay for the redecorating of their room. I have my mom and an unwilling brother. Sweet.

Side note: I am highly recommending the movie Crash, out in theatres right now.

And finally my friends, I leave you with this - The identity of Deep Throat (now that can start its own slew of jokes) recently has been revealed. To anyone other than CNN - is this really a shock? And what has changed now that we know his identity?

G. Gordon Liddy thinks his actions were wrong and "morally incorrect". Thanks, G. Gordon Liddy. Did you think of that when you were in prison, or just now that he revealed himself?

*OK so technically I went to Epcot with the band for the Gator Bowl. But Epcot is NOT Disney World!

Jigga yeah

OK so I've been really bad at updating, so here are a few things going on in my world right now:

Spring break was excellent, a nice food-filled vacation to Tejas to experience all that we have to offer, especially llamas at the zoo. I don't think the little kids got it when we were yelling "Tina, eat your food!" at them. Another highlight was the medicated animals petting zoo. The Houston Zoo redid their whole kids area, and now have a very large pen full of cute little baby goats and sheep and kind barnyard animals of that nature. Except, they didn't move. Little kids were running everywhere, petting them, generally making a lot of noise, and these animals looked as if they'd overdosed on Valium. One dad even made the comment to us, "I wonder what they put in their food".

As of right now, the Dome is having a cage built around it so it can be reguilded. Which means at graduation, we will definitely have scaffolding all over the dome, and it might even be some sort of weird color if they already start taking the gold off. Way to care about the students, administration.

In other remodeling news, I think both Philip and Adam would be glad to be out of Dillon this semester. It is constantly surrounded by large machines and people on those machines power washing the walls of Dillon. Forget about sleeping in or taking a nap.

No one else may care, but I won an iPod mini from the PAC! You spend enough time in one building, it starts to get its rewards.

Spring Break WOO

After probably the two longest and busiest weeks of my LIFE, it's finally spring break (woo!). Tomorrow I head off to Tejas with some bandies. Really, it's the best of both worlds. I go to sunnier climates, get to stay at home and eat for free, and my friends come with me to entertain me. Booya. We're going to go to Galveston for a day, visit San Antonio, go to NASA, and, most importantly, go to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo!! My first time to go was in high school, and I had a fantastic time, and I haven't been back since senior year of high school when I saw that man-hunk Enrique Iglesias... what an apropos singer for the Rodeo, right? So I'm pumped for that.

Also, today, I saw George W. Bush speak in the JACC! I entered the student ticket lottery, and apparantly out of 1,500 students who entered, I got one of 100 winning tickets! Jenna and I went this afternoon, and after a unnecessarily long security line, we headed up to the bleachers. It was awesome. Georgie is quite the charmer, and it's pretty funny just to hear him go off on tangents because he doesn't have to worry about reelection anymore, so he just says whatever the hell he wants. Outside the JACC, across the street, was a pretty big group of protestors, which included Katie and Emily. I waved at Katie as we came out... I don't think she was too pleased by it. One old guy coming out yelled "Get a job!!" at them, and I cracked up. Because, old angry people are funny.

The Grand Return

So, after spending a week sitting quietly in the OIT building, my computer has made a miraculous return. With a new hard drive. Unfortunately, none of my old stuff is on it :( The guy at OIT said he'd try and save some of my pictures and papers, but there was nothing he could do about recovering the 2.1 days worth of songs I had on iTunes. I've been saving those songs for 4 years, and poof, they're gone. Tis very sad. I think after the OIT guy is done with my hard drive, I will have a ceremony in which we can all take turns bashing my hard drive, Office Space-style (as mentioned previously). Or watching me take all my anger out on my hard drive. Either way, it will be personally enjoyable to me, and I may provide cookies.